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ISIS Asks Trump For Tips on Inspiring Young Men

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SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- The terrorist organization known as ISIS, or Daesh, alleges that they have reached out to President Donald Trump, and are...

Eric Trump Tells Fox News 95% of Unicorn Breeders Support His Father

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- In an interview on Fox News, President Donald Trump's smartest son not named Barron or Donald Jr. told viewers...

For Some Unknown Reason, This Canadian Immigrant Hasn’t Felt Threatened by Any of Trump’s...

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RIO DE LA GUEROS, CALIFORNIA -- Technically, 35 year old Susan Reedy is an illegal immigrant, residing in a sleepy, coastal California town. Susan...

Un, Trump Dispute Who Legitimized Whom’s Fascist, Authoritarian Kakistocracy

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AIR FORCE ONE -- The earliest reports of the historic summit between President Donald Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un are that...

Trump, Un Set ‘Hard And Fast’ Self-Fellatio Time Limit Ahead of Summit

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SINGAPORE -- Representatives from President Donald Trump and North Korea's dictator Kim Jong Un announced via a joint statement today that they have agreed...

Lahren Will Be On Super Bowl LII Field Before Kickoff, Holding Gun To Players’...

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Are you ready for some forced nationalissssssssssssssmmmmmmmm?!

Raving, Power Mad Lunatic Threatens Nuclear War, Also North Korea Makes Threats

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The United Nations has started an emergency meeting of its security council as the drums of nuclear war pick up their pace.

Trump Blames Taliban Retaking Afghanistan on Biden Not Sucking Up to Them

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FART-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- The former, one-term, twice forever impeached 45th  Smartest President of the United States issued a statement this morning, slamming the...

Richard Simmons To Aid North Korean Leader’s Weight Loss

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Pyongyang, North Korea -- North Korean leader Kim Jong Un's weight has been the subject of ridicule since taking power after his Father's death....

Trump Promises To Replace Kennedy With Middle Of The Road Misogynist Corporate Toady and...

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the country girds its collective loins for the knockdown, drag-out political fight that replacing outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy...