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Ivanka’s ‘Getting Used to Having Daddy’s Subpoenas’ Waved In Her Face

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NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The New York Attorney General has issued subpoenas to two of former one-term, twice forever impeached President Don Trump's...

Melania Trump’s Husband Only Interested in Ivanka’s NFT

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Today, former Third First Lady Melania Trump announced that she was entering the world of NFTs. Mrs. Trump's NFT will feature watercolor paintings of...

Ted Cruz Says He’ll Stand Under the Mistletoe With Trump If Ivanka Won’t

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a weekly press conference held by Senate Republicans, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) was asked for his thoughts on whether former,...

Don Jr: “If Joe’s So Good at Finishing What Daddy Couldn’t, Why Can’t He...

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STUPID FUCKFACE, FLORIDA -- Taking time out during a golf tournament put on by some of the richest Republican donors in the country, Donald...

Trump: “Ashli Babbitt Was the Hottest Nazi Babe I’ve Seen Since My Own Ivanka”

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This weekend, former one term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump recorded a special video in tribute to fallen MAGA martyr and domestic...

Ivanka Confirms No Change in Her Dad’s Balls Since Getting COVID-19 Vaccine

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NEPOTISM LAKE, FLORIDUH -- It's probably the most frequently asked question at every American dinner table this week: Will getting a COVID-19 vaccine shot...

Donald Trump No Longer Has Any Interest in Ivanka’s OnlyFans

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Today, social media site OnlyFans announced that beginning in October, content its moderators deem to be "sexually explicit" will no longer be allowed on...

Ivanka: “I Know for a Fact Daddy Could Pull-Out Better”

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LAKE DAUGHTERLUST, FLORIDA -- All across pro-MAGA media, President Joe Biden is getting hammered for how the military has handled the planned withdrawal of...

Ivanka’s Never Been So Sure Her Dad’s Not Batman

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"My first clue was that unlike Bruce Wayne, Daddy's a billionaire who doesn't care about anyone but himself. But then, yeah, the eating pussy...

Biden Tells Space Force to Stop Pointing Telescope at Ivanka’s Bedroom

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President Joe Biden ordered Space Force to "immediately reposition" a massive telescope  miles away from the Earth's orbit and point it away from the...