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Moscow Demands Trump Help End Putin’s Shadow Government Shutdown
MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent a strongly worded letter to American President In Name Only Donald Trump, demanding that the...
Exhausted Trump Asks Staffers If They Can Take Fewer Pictures Pretending To Work During...
WASHINGTON D.C. -- The federal government is in the middle of its first shutdown during a time in which one party holds control of...
Trump Writing Book: “The Art Of Not Making Deals And Blaming It On Crooked...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Alt-Right Publishing has announced that they will begin printing more than just leaflets that are handed out at Nazi, Ku Klux...
Trump Asks John Kelly If Taxpayers Will Still Pay For His Golf Outing Security...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are telling reporters that this morning, President Trump seemed to be accepting of the fact that...
Trump To Publish Book: “How To Eat & Look Like Literal Garbage But Somehow...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though sitting presidents usually do not write books, seeking to avoid accusations of enriching themselves with the Oval Office, President Donald...
Starburst Announces New Flavor: Trump’s Rectum
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS -- Over the weekend, word broke that Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) gave President Donald Trump a special gift -- a jar containing...
Trump Blames Weekend Missile Warning Scare On President Of Hawaii’s Incompetence
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, residents in Hawaii were treated to quite a shock. In the early hours of Saturday morning local time,...
Trump’s Doctor Worried When Physical Reveals No Human Heart Or Brain
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Traditionally, American presidents as far back as the 1970's have submitted to an annual physical exam.
Roughly half of the men who...
Trump Orders ‘Except From Shithole Countries’ Added To Statue of Liberty Poem
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Moments after delivering a speech about Martin Luther King, Jr. this morning, President Donald Trump issued and executive order. The order...
Obama Suing President Trump For Libel
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In court documents filed today, former President Barack Obama is suing current Kinda President Donald Trump for libel, stemming from the...
