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Trump To Publish Book: “How To Eat & Look Like Literal Garbage But Somehow...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though sitting presidents usually do not write books, seeking to avoid accusations of enriching themselves with the Oval Office, President Donald...
Starburst Announces New Flavor: Trump’s Rectum
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS -- Over the weekend, word broke that Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) gave President Donald Trump a special gift -- a jar containing...
Trump Blames Weekend Missile Warning Scare On President Of Hawaii’s Incompetence
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, residents in Hawaii were treated to quite a shock. In the early hours of Saturday morning local time,...
Trump’s Doctor Worried When Physical Reveals No Human Heart Or Brain
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Traditionally, American presidents as far back as the 1970's have submitted to an annual physical exam.
Roughly half of the men who...
Trump Orders ‘Except From Shithole Countries’ Added To Statue of Liberty Poem
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Moments after delivering a speech about Martin Luther King, Jr. this morning, President Donald Trump issued and executive order. The order...
Obama Suing President Trump For Libel
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In court documents filed today, former President Barack Obama is suing current Kinda President Donald Trump for libel, stemming from the...
Trump Disappointed He Didn’t Get To Meet Old McDonald After He Spoke To Farm...
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, President Trump visited and spoke to the Farm Bureau.
While speaking to the association’s annual gathering, Mr. Trump also signed two...
President Trump Overheard Practicing National Anthem
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Walking onto the field to hearty boos, last night, President Donald Trump attended the NCAA college football championship game in Atlanta,...
Dozens Of Tiny Envelopes Ordered For President Trump’s Fake News Awards
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over six dozen of the world's tiniest envelopes have been ordered and are on their way in an Amazon truck to...
Trump ‘Moved Bigly’ And Inspired By Michelle Obama’s Golden Globes Speech To Be A...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump left the White House on his routine morning coffee, doughnut, deep fried Twinkie, beef jerky, KFC,...
