Sean Hannity Asks HUD For Another Set Of Multi-million Dollar Boot Straps
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — According to sources close-ish to the situation, the Department of Housing and Urban Development has received a request for…
Donald Trump
White House Doctors Trying To Remove Comey’s Shoe From President’s Rectum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Authorities at this hour are confirming that White House doctors are scrambling to perform a vital surgery on President Donald J….
Hillary Clinton Circling Michael Cohen’s Block Chanting, ‘Lock Him Up!’
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Sources close to the scene are confirming that former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has been circling the…
Mark Zuckerberg Enters 20th Hour Explaining To Chuck Grassley That He’s Not The “You’ve Got Mail” Guy
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A very patient and stoic Mark Zuckerberg, CEO and co-founder of Facebook, is still sitting in the same chair he sat…
Right-Winger Outraged Lazy Liberals Couldn’t Create Single Conspiracy Theory About YouTube Shooting or Shooter
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Self-proclaimed right-wing provocateur Jethro Bohiggins hosts three podcasts on his YouTube channel that are oriented for similarly conservative audiences….
God to Americans: “Your Kids Are Making It Here Faster Than Your Thoughts And Prayers”
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — This morning, Larry “God” Schumway held a press conference in front of the Pearly Gates, and when asked by…
Senate Republicans Inserted Tax Cut Amendment That Dumps Six Million Dollars On Bob Corker’s Lawn Every Quarter
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the hours ticking into minutes, ticking into moments before the passage of a sweeping tax overhaul plan, it was still…
Angry Orangutan Who Kept Birther Movement Alive For 8 Years Tweets All Weekend About Fake News
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An orange-faced, alleged billionaire and angry orangutan lashed out on Twitter this weekend, attacking the free press. The orangutan in question…
Ivanka Reminds Feuding Mommies No Matter Who Is First Lady She Is ‘Daddy’s Bottom Bitch’
Me-owwww! Things are heating up on the lame new reality-TV political show, President Donald J. Trump! Sparks are a flyin’ between President Donny Trump’s current…