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Bush Says Trump Should Know How to Pronounce ‘Nookular Weapons’ Before He Uses Them...
CABEZA MIERDA, TEXAS -- Former President George W. Bush left the public spotlight in January of 2009 when Barack Obama was sworn in as...
NASA Still Unable To Locate Edge Of Trump’s Stupidity
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scientists at NASA have yet to locate the edge of Donald Trump's stupidity, even after studying over a year of campaign...
Trump: “I Didn’t Consider Nuking Hurricanes Because Everyone Knows You Nuke Tornadoes”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, Axios published a story that suggested President Donald Trump has on multiple occasions suggested to his advisers that the United...
Mexican Government Releases Detailed Audit of How Much They’ve Paid for Trump’s Wall So...
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The federal government of Mexico has published an extremely detailed audit of just how much of its budget has been...
Trump Hires Goon to Steal Greenland From Denmark and Hide It In the Alamo...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, having been rebuffed on multiple occasions by Denmark in his efforts to purchase Greenland, reportedly hired a goon...
Senator Lindsey Graham Demonstrates How Much He’s Willing to Suck Up to Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whatever happened between the 2016 presidential primary season and today, the end result is that Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) has become...
Trump Calls Domino’s Pizza “The Enemy of the People” for Forgetting His Hot Wing...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The list of people, businesses, and government officials who President Donald Trump has referred to as an "enemy of the people"...
Trump Hereby Orders Burger King to Always Give Him Extra Ketchup Packets
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Trump broke yet new rhetorical ground in his presidency. In what many described as a fit of rage, the...
Trump: “David Koch Would Have Never Died If He’d Donated to My Campaign”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to reporters from the lawn of the White House, Marine One's propeller blades spinning loudly in the background, President Donald...
For Some Reason, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Pretty Confident She Can Lie for Donald Trump...
PIG SLOP CROTCH, ARKANSAS -- Sarah Huckabee Sanders is going to be a Fox News contributor. Some might wonder if she'll fit in at...
