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President Declares ‘National McMergency’ Because He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at approximately 7:45 am a state of national emergency was declared...
Shane Gillis Hired as Trump’s New Speechwriter
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, at a ceremony in the Rose Garden, President Donald Trump announced that he was bringing a "bigly hilarious man" to...
President Orders DOJ to Investigate Obama For Being Better at Literally Everything Than He...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is not a secret at all on the Hill that the current occupant of the White House is not a...
White House Counsel Insists Lewandowski Get to Keep Trump’s Toadstool in His Mouth During...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former Trump campaign manager and central Mueller Report figure Corey Lewandowski testified before a House Judiciary Committee hearing this morning. It...
President Threatens ‘Any American’ That Doesn’t Vote for Him With Class Action Lawsuit
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump is going to sue you if you don't vote for him. At least that's what the alleged...
Trump Says He’ll Build A Wall Around The Country Of ‘Islam’ And Make ISIS...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While in line at the deli just down the street from the White House this afternoon, President Donald J. Trump told...
Dick Cheney Reminds Trump Saudi Arabia Doesn’t Declare War, He Does
MUSTAFAR -- Former President Dick Cheney sent an email to President Donald Trump today, telling him that while Cheney "fully and completely supports any...
Self-Loathing, Blind, and Deaf Woman Explains Why She’s Still Voting for Donald Trump
GREENBELT, MINNESOTA -- Helen Whipplemyer is still voting for Donald J. Trump next November, provided he is the Republican nominee. As the Republican National...
Donald Trump Stump Speech Breaks Out At Klan Rally
LAKE CHINGANDOS, FLORIDA -- At a recent Klan rally in Florida, a spontaneous show of support for President Donald J. Trump came to fruition....
Trump Offers to Make Palin Secretary of ‘Educationizing’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump announced today that he was creating a brand new cabinet position, on his own authority, and that former...
