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President Says TrumpCare Will ‘Absolutely Cover Non-Existing Conditions’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. --  Though it's still more than a year and a half away, President Donald Trump appears to be already jockeying for position...

Trump Says Democrats Want ‘Unlimited Post-Arousal Abortions’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump had a relatively convivial relationship with Congress for the first two years of his presidency, however the shellacking...

Trump Names David Avocado Wolfe Wind Cancer Czar

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WASHINGTON. D.C. -- President Donald Trump recently attacked wind-based energy production in part because the turbines necessary kill a lot of birds and the...

All 56 Mexican Countries Reaffirm Commitment to Never Pay for Trump’s Wall

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A letter has been delivered to President Donald J. Trump at the White House, sent from from all 56 Mexican countries. "We, the people of...

Trump Promises To Disband NASA If They Don’t Bring Back Cheese From New Moon...

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"Trust me on this just like you trusted me that Trump Steaks were real cow and not chunks of Mike Huckabee's ass."

Trump Has Taco Bell Delivered to Migrant Families Detained Under Bridge in El Paso...

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EL PASO, TEXAS -- President Donald Trump issued an executive order from his Oval Office chair late this afternoon, directing federal resources be dedicated...

Barr Says Mueller Report Exonerates Trump for Saying Mexico Would Pay for Border Wall

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Barr is not done exonerating President Donald Trump based on the highly-anticipated report from FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller. "This...

Trump Replaces Entire Cabinet With Hosts of “Fox & Friends”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a development sure to send shock waves through government, President Donald Trump made the turn to the back nine holes...

Trump Orders Creation of New Government Search Engine Called “Tru-gle”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. --  President Donald Trump signed an executive order directing his administration to form a new, government sponsored search engine. The order comes...

Trump Says He’s Waiting for the Picture Version of Mueller Report Before Issuing Response

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House has issued the following statement in light of FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller finishing his investigation into Russian...