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Trump Warns of Biden’s ‘Reckless Competency and Foolish Planning’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If Americans do not re-elect him this fall, President Donald Trump warned that they will be "forced to live under Sleepy...
Eric Trump Joins In The Fun: “Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV, Doggy, Kitty, Baby,...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Not wanting to miss out on all the fun the grown-ups in the family had been having lately, Eric...
Emperor Palpatine Defends Attorney General Vader’s Use of Stormtroopers in Portland
CORUSCANT -- As protests mount throughout the galaxy, Emperor Sheev Palpatine has maintained a public tone of righteousness and self-assurance. The protests have begun...
White House: Hospitals Must Send COVID-19 Data to Trump’s AOL Account
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to a new presidential edict signed just this morning, hospitals in the United States have been ordered to send their...
Fauci Pronounces Trump ‘Dead From the Neck-Up’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a press conference this morning, Dr. Anthony Fauci pronounced the President of the United States of America "dead from the...
CDC Testing Effectiveness of Racial Slurs on COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control, at the request of the White House, has begun an emergency study on whether or not...
Man Is ‘Blown Away’ How Much ‘It Stinks’ That His Girlfriend Can’t Stop Farting...
BROWN CLOUD, CALIFORNIA -- He says that there is "absolutely no chance" of it breaking them up, but that doesn't mean 37 year old...
Armed Protesters Demand Their Right to Domestic Terrorism for Haircuts
DERP CITY, MICHIGAN -- Dozens of armed mouth-breathers stormed a local government office this afternoon, angrily demanding they be afforded their constitutional right to...
Vatican Unveils Papal Vape-als Line of Holy THC Products
THE VATICAN -- Since ascending to the Catholic Church's highest and most important post, Pope Francis has often times taken actions that past popes...
Citing Trump’s Impeachment, Son of Sam Requests Retrial With No Witnesses or Documents
NEW YORK -- Attorneys for the convicted serial killer known as "Son of Sam" have requested that he be given a new trial, more...
