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Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the Only Things Daddy Can Pull Out Of?”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to the situation this afternoon, very confused. Word had just gotten...
Pence Just Realized Sucking Trump Off So Much Cost Him Valuable Talking Time During...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike Pence was so upset by what he just figured out that he cried...
Report: Coronavirus Devastated, Despondent, and Suicidal
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump has promised the American people several times in the last eight months he would defeat the coronavirus. Now, hours...
2020 Republican Nationalist Convention Will Close With Ceremonial Book Burning
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump will close out the 2020 Republican Nationalist Convention tonight by tossing a ceremonial match onto a pile of...
Trump: “Harris and Biden Are Dangerous Marxist Commies in Wall Street’s Back Pocket!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Lashing out at the Democratic Party's presidential ticket this morning, President Donald Trump labeled former Vice President Joe Biden and his...
Backside of Mount Rushmore Being Prepared for New Trump Bust
To the victors go the spoils, and Mount Rushmore is about to get spoiled, President Donald Trump style.
Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr, in an interview with Slimebag Fascist Enabling Toady Fucksticks Quarterly, intimated that he believes his operating principle of "unitary...
Ivanka Had The Most Classy and Elegant Photos Taken For Father’s Day
WASHINGTON. D.C. -- Pretty Much First Lady Ivanka Trump reportedly had a series of classy, elegant boudoir photos taken as a gift for Father's...
Trump Promises Entire Capital Will Be Converted To Renewable White Power
President-Elect Trump's plan to tackle climate change includes a return to using renewable white power in the nation's capital.
Is Your Rascal Scooter Fully Charged In Preparation for a Second Civil War?
The President of the United States is currently the subject of an active impeachment inquiry. As most Americans know, however, the United States isn't...
