All of this kerfuffle over Roy Moore and the wonderful attention he showed the young girls in his community is completely overblown!

A middle age man seeking to save a young girl from the dangers of becoming a self-reliant woman, with more than an 11th grade education, should be celebrated. This is what the Bible intended, so that men of God, who are the rightful masters of all they survey, can enjoy the comfort of a pleasing young lady and train her up properly. Roy Moore was taking guidance from none other than our Father in Heaven himself.

When God sought a mate why would he want anything but a supple young woman who had not been tainted with a fully developed brain? The right parts of her were developed just fine. How else would God know Mary was a virgin if he didn’t get to her young? The comparison is continually made about Mary and Joseph, but let’s not forget that God Almighty put our Lord and Savior, Jesus, in Mary’s belly.

Also From The Author: Conservative Startup Offering ‘Yuge’ Reward For Trading In Race, Gender, Sexual Identity Cards

Men like Roy Moore, like our Lord God, are discerning men who know that in order to find the right vessel to bear your fruit, you need to have a vessel that is basically empty. One might not think teenage girls are acceptable spouses for grown men, but as the Bible taught us, teenage girls are capable of so much, such as bearing and giving birth to the Lord and Savior.

We have gone so far away from the biblical teachings that we are commanded to follow, that we are crucifying a man who has fought valiantly against the evils of secular society and socialism, working his whole life to be a true example of the Christian church. More godly men should be staking out malls and high school football games for their future wife. These men of faith are only seeking to find a mate who has not been soiled by unnecessary education and life experience so they may be properly trained up as a Godly woman.

Roy Moore was looking for a young lady to save from a future of self-determination and dare I say, feminism. If more men of the church followed the example of Roy Moore, and our father God, we could save the next generation from the continued rise of heathen feminazi homosexuals.

The preceding was commentary written by a contributor, and may not reflect the views and opinions of anyone but the author.

More satire:

Christian Baker Refuses To Sell Wedding Cakes To ‘Fake Christian Bigots’