Dear America,

Well screw you very much! I guess you don’t really want to be great again, do you? You only gave President Donald John Trump four short years to turn around the mess made by almost 250 years of corrupt, globalist, New World Order cuckery, and now you’ll have to live with the choices you’ve made. Trading out the maverick, shoot your friends first and never ask questions later, strong, bold leadership style of President Trump to the planning, forethought, and deference to people with actual expertise of Sleepy Po-Peepy Biden is the worst mistake we’ve made as a country, and we elected a black Democrat…TWICE!

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I have to say, though, I am shocked and downright appalled by the behavior of the formerly good people of Arizona and Georgia! How dare you trade your allegiance? How dare you turn your back on our Dear President when he needs you the absolute most? So he was a little corrupt…so he was a little abusive…so he was sort of a lot of an asshole all the time…so what? That means he doesn’t deserve a second, or frankly as many terms as he demands?

As I watch President Trump’s lead dwindle as more and more votes are counted — which my conservative friends know is actually called “stealing” in our Land of Make Believe — and see states flipping for Joe Biden, I wonder how much longer our Republic can last, if a party can’t elect a violently stupid, comically inept, nakedly corrupt moronic bully and enable his every disgusting whim, without paying some kind of “price” at the ballot box. Since when do we hold politicians in this country accountable, anyway?

You all should be ashamed of yourselves, all of you!

Overnight we watched the president’s might lead in states like Pennsylvania and Georgia disappear. Why? They say it’s because we’re “counting all the votes,” but who in the hell gave anyone to cast votes that will be counted before the president has a chance to approve them? Did all you morons out there forget he’s the PRESIDENT? He is entitled to approve every single breath you take into your lungs, so what makes you think he’s not entitled to go over your vote before it’s counted, to make it was cast in the right, proper, American way?

I feel a great sadness for this country. Apparently, the big takeaway this year is that enabling and cheerleading a corrupt, abusive, incompetent asshole bully has consequences. Now, I’m sorry, but I don’t wanna live in a country where my political party takes it on the chin, just because we behaved like craven, cynical assholes for four years so we could stuff courts with religious kooks and right-wing nutbags! That’s, I’m sorry, very RUDE of you all to even suggest as a possibility.

In conclusion, because I have to go cry harder than I ever have into my MAGA hat while I wrap myself in my Trump flag, eat a nice, well done Trump steak with ketchup dipping sauce, and wash it all down with a gallon of Trump Ice, the best bottled water that also tastes like a New Jersey shoreline, let me just say this:

If I had known that supporting an unctuous, rude, lying corrupt piece of shit would have consequences…I still would have done it, but I would have made sure we dismantled the election process so this couldn’t happen.

You. Are. All. So. Rude.

Report: More Than 70 Million Americans Voted to Steal the Election from Donald Trump

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.