The following is an opinionated editorial written by staff writer Bill Dickerdolldildo. Mr. Dickerdolldildo graduated from State Beach University majored in condescending history revision and though he is neither a constitutional scholar, nor attorney, he is more than willing to behave publicly as if he is both. The opinions of Mr. Dickerdolldildo are strictly his own, and not necessarily those of The Pastiche Post, its ownership, or management. Mr. Dickerdolldildo is, predictably, an assclown.
You know what I’m sick and GD tired of the cancel culture and intelligentsia ramming down our throats? The fact that we’re not the generational majority anymore, and that, perhaps we should be willing to listen to more differing points of view on culture and society, as we demanded at the same age in our own lives. By “we,” of course I mean Baby Boomers, of which I am, technically, not. But as a conservative, because I yearn for the “good old days” — a nebulous, nondescript time I’m sure really existed…even though I can’t find any historical record of what I believe to have taken place — I find myself siding with the Boomers on a lot of things.
After all, the media lies. But my Boomer grandparents get their news from Alex Jones and that weird kid with the tiny head in the memes on Facebook. What possible agenda could people with such verifiable, valuable talents as Charlie Kirk or Dennis Prager have to sell bull-puckey to people? Why on God’s beautiful earth would people like Rush Limbaugh tell us all those years he’s always right if he, weren’t indeed, always right?
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That’s irrefutable logic, which is why your left-wing, socialist, Cultural Marxist cousin in Commiefornia won’t be able to refute that when he reads it. Trust me.
What I’m writing about today is this new phenomenon on the left of saying, “OK, Boomer” to people when they express good, clean, moral views such as “all brown people are lesser Americans,” or “it’s no big deal when the president literally invites a foreign country to meddle in our elections.” First of all, it’s hate speech. Pure and simple. I know in the past you’ve read my pieces where I rail against even the notion of hate speech, because I’m sick and tired of being told just because I don’t think illegal immigrants should get a day in court, and should be shot as the disease carrying invaders they are on sight, but believe me. “OK, Boomer,” is hate speech!
Secondly, and again, I’m not a Boomer but I can surely relate to them being bullied so hard by by fellow millennials — whom I do not claim to be a part of because they’re such libtarded cucks all the time. And it’s hate speech, pure and simple.
I need to just say that calling names is mean, wrong, degrading and it coarsens the dialogue. But, we’ve come to expect no less from Cultural Marxists, far-left loonies, libtards, socialists, cucks, and Democrats, haven’t we? All you disgusting, amoral, un-American commies do is call names! It’s cheap, ineffective, and violates every conservative’s right to never be confronted with dissenting viewpoints and/or the fact that we don’t live in feudal times or the antebellum south.
We’ve been telling you cry baby bitch loser socialists this for years. One day, all your complaints about us using the N-word, or treating immigrants like garbage would bite you in the butts when we started doing it back. Well, that day of reckoning is here, libcucks!
I would argue, in fact, that it’s also a violation of the Constitution to say, “OK, Boomer” to us. Maybe not technically because of the First Amendment, and maybe not even in spirit of it. But I’m offended to my core by “OK, Boomer,” and as we all know, when conservatives in this country get offended, things have to change. Just ask the Dixie Chicks. Mess with us and you’ll all pay, big.
If you ask me, the SJW’s owe good, clean, ammo hoarding, white American patriotic nationalists somewhere they can be free from having their feelings hurt. They fed you, they parented you. They told you to suffer in silence and stop feeling sorry for yourself when they hurt your feelings to toughen your pansy asses up. They insulted every independent thought you had. The very least you can do is give them somewhere in society where they can never be confronted with how they treated you.
Call it a space of safety, or a safe verbal place, I don’t really care. Labels aren’t the important part. The important part is that conservatives have a right and are entitled to not hear themselves be called names by disgusting libtards, and I will fight to my dying breath carving out that space for the Boomers. If for no other reason than I’m afraid of what the younger generations will say about me, when they found out I sold my own peers in order to hold firm to beliefs that were forged in centuries prior, laboring under the delusion that people who died 200 years ago or more couldn’t possibly have ideas that we’ve shown to be not so good anymore.
You owe us a safe space, cucks. You owe it to us! So give it to us, or we’ll elect the guy who hate again! Call it extortion or whatever, but the fact is you made us do it. With all your bleeding heart empathy and misplaced efforts to hold our Dear President accountable for breaking law after law. Stop saying, “OK, Boomer” to Boomers and the rest of us who clearly prioritize selfishness over anything else.
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.