Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #414

Total Guns Confiscated by President Barack Obama (Week #414): zeroTotal Guns Confiscated by President Barack Obama (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total Caches of Weapons and Ammunition, Seized by President Barack Obama (Week 413):

zero

Total Caches of Weapons and Ammunition, Seized by President Barack Obama (Entire Presidency):

zero

Total Second Amendments Replaced With “Yay Gays!” by President Barack Obama:

zero

Total Guns, Forcibly Replaced With Dildos by President Barack Obama:

zero

Total Guns Confiscated to Pay For Welfare Programs by President Barack Obama:

zero

Total Guns Converted into Flower Shooting Rainbow Cannons by President Barack Obama:

zero

Total Times Guns Have Been Blamed For Anything Other Than Gun Violence by President Barack Obama:

zero

Total “In God We Trust”s Replaced With “Black Gay Mexicans 4Ever!!” by President Barack Obama:

zero

Total 2016 Elections Canceled, Martial Laws Instituted, Imperial Presidencies Formed by President Barack Obama:

zero

Total Number of Straight Marriages Ruined in the Last Week Thanks to the Gays and Obama’s Sinister Liberal Agenda:

“None. Zero. Not a single goddamned one. Basically, if gay marriage brings down your straight marriage,

one or both of you has some serious explaining to do.”

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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