Obama Tells Biden He Can ‘Think of One Black Woman With a Law Degree’ to Replace Breyer

President Joe Biden is currently conducting a search for someone to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer. Much to the chagrin of rank and file, elected, and right-wing media white nationalists, Biden has indicated his nominee will be a black woman.

As the pro-MAGA wing of American politics prepares to fight against the confirmation of a qualified, black woman to the bench, Biden is being inundated with suggestions for Breyer’s replacement from all corners of the Internet. This morning, someone rather famous added his voice to the chorus of candidate suggestions. In a letter, former President Barack Obama suggests to his former Vice President, Mr. Biden, that he has “someone who might just fit the bill perfectly” in mind for consideration.

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“Joe, been thinking quite a bit about Stephen’s replacement. Obviously Master Soros and I have been brainstorming candidates for you to choose from, as was our pact with the Devil,” a letter from Obama, leaked to the press, begins.

“Needless to say, he and I have come up with the perfect person. If anyone knows about how to execute our mission to destroy this country from within using compassion and empathy to inspire a re-imagining of what the U.S. government can do, otherwise known as full-blown commie-cuck-socialism, it’s my partner in life for the last few decades.”

Obama goes on to suggest that his wife, Michelle Obama, be nominated to fill the vacancy created by Breyer leaving the bench.

“She’s black. She’s a woman, and she has a law degree, which now we come to see aren’t just things that trigger Republicans, they’re everything you want in a Supreme Court Justice. She has qualifications that, were she a white man who went to Yale or Harvard with Theodore Von Booger Eater Cruz, would get her moved up to the top of every MAGA list, so be sure to point that out when you submit her name to the Senate, okay Joe?”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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