North Korea Gives Ashli Babbit Posthumous Medal

The Democratic Republic of North Korea has issued one of the highest honors it can bestoy on a foreign citizen this week, though it was it was conferred posthumously.

In a brief statement from dictator Kim Jong-un, American Ashli Babbit, who died from a gunshot wound after being shot while attempting to storm the capitol last week. Babbit was one of a heaving throng of pro-Trump rioters who, egged on by President Trump moments before, attempted to break in and disrupt or stop Congress from certifying the 2020 Electoral College results, cementing Joe Biden’s victory over Trump. Babbit, a 14 year Air Force veteran and resident of San Diego, California, had posted several angry rants in the days and weeks leading up to the attempted insurrection, and had reportedly begun to believe in the Q-Anon conspiracy theory.

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“As everyone knows, we consider the United States of America our number one foe,” the North Korean announcement reads. “Therefore, anyone who attacks America — and, importantly, American democracy — is an ally of ours. Dear Leader wishes now to bestow the North Korean Medal of Dishonor and Misanthropy on Ms. Ashli Babbit of America.”

Perhaps surprisingly, this is not the first time North Korea has given this medal to an American citizen. In fact, Babbit becomes the second pro-MAGA American to have the medal bestowed upon them. In 2018, North Korea gave the medal to Caesar Sayoc, the “MAGA Bomber.” The first American to receive the prize was Timothy McVeigh, mastermind of the Oklahoma City Bombing, and the North Korean Fuck America Lifetime Achievement Award was presented in honor of General Robert E. Lee back in 2012.

“The Medal of Dishonor and Misanthropy has a long and rich history which Dear Leader is committed to maintaining,” North Korea said. “He is carefully reviewing news footage of the riot on the American capitol building and will issue more medals to those people who he felt let the siege with the kind of tenacity and skill he favors in his foot soldiers.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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