Don’t Worry! You Can Still Follow MTG on Twitter for Horses.

These days, it can be really difficult to find a consistent and reliable source of verbal diarrhea, COVID disinformation, and unrelenting right-wing religious extremist rhetoric. So when a major social media company de-platforms such a font of stupidity, it can leave quite a hole in the moronic social media landscape.

However, if readers were worried that Twitter banning Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene’s personal account would leave them in the lurch, yearning for racist jokes and cringe Boomer-tier level content, they need fear not. Today, during a press conference held in California’s Swilly Corn Valley, Twitter announced that Greene’s account on their sister site, Twitter for Horses, still has a clean record with no strikes on it.

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“Of course, we understand that the majority of people, and therefore our users, would be quite happy to know that we had purged our platform of one of the most toxic purveyors of hate-filled diatribes and lies, however we also know that there are millions of morons and moronic bots out there who still want to expose themselves to her insanity,” Twitter co-Executive Media Officer Shirly Bobirly told reporters today. “Luckily for Congressmare Greene and her followers, her Twitter for Horses account is intact, not banned, and has zero strikes against it.”

Just because her Twitter for Horses account is in clean, good standing now, that does not mean she has carte blanche to do what she wants. Should Greene violate Twitter for Horses terms of service, as she did on regular Twitter, she could be banned again, Bobirly indicated.

“Congresshorse Greene would be wise to adhere to the rules, though. No suggesting that people take COVID-19 vaccines for heart worms, and the like. She keeps her long nose clean, though, and she should have a really great time on Twitter for Horses,” Bobirly suggested.

Rep. Greene could not be reached for comment.

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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