Smithsonian Apologizes for Escaped Horse Faced Cave Troll’s Disruptions During State of the Union

Last night, one of the Smithsonian’s displays came alive and escaped the confines of the museum. Reportedly, the horse faced cave troll that broke out from the Smithsonian’s “Prehistoric Humans” exhibit wound up at President Joe Biden’s State of the Union Address, where she booed, heckled, and called President Biden a “liar.”

This morning, at a press conference, Smithsonian Deputy Junior Communication Officer Sonny Smithson explained what happened, and issued an apology to the American people, and President Biden specifically.

“We’re not really sure what kind of special magic was used last night to bring the horse faced cave troll to life, and we’re really embarrassed to say we’re not even sure at this point how she got out of the Prehistoric Humans exhibit,” Smithson said, “but make no mistake, her behavior at last night’s State of the Union speech was a blight on her, but also on our entire museum, and we’re just so sorry.”

Mr. Smithson also indicated he has no clue where the horse faced cave troll got her clothing from.

“I saw she was wearing a white fur coat, which of course was very on brand for her. Her normal wardrobe is a white silk robe and pointy hood,” Smithson said, “but I don’t really have any idea where she got the fur coat from. She wouldn’t have had time to go hunting between the time she broke out of the museum and the time she started flinging feces at the State of the Union address.”

Smithson said that he and board executives will figure out tougher security measures going forward, but ultimately everyone at The Smithsonian are “just glad” the horse faced cave troll didn’t do more damage.

“My God, if this woman had gotten her hands on some meth? It could’ve been catastrophic. Then again, she doesn’t have a hotline into a presidential pardon anymore, so maybe that would have kept her from going too far overboard,” Smithson wondered aloud. “At any rate, again, we are just very sorry to the American people, and to President Biden, that we let the horse caved troll out, and we will do everything in our power to never let that happen again.”

@jamboschlarmbo Okay, now I get how #MarjorieTaylorGreene ended up at the #SOTU #stateoftheunion #satire #politics #politik ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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