Local Mouth Breathing Podcaster Super Happy With Trump’s “Short and Fat” Kim Jong-Un Tweet

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Jethro Bohiggins is a 38 year old devout Republican, Trump supporter, and proud mouth breather. Mr. Bohiggins says that to him, when people assume he’s stupid just because he doesn’t try to learn things or get information outside of his own political belief system, he simply laughs. Jethro doesn’t care so much about “book learning” or “education” or even “intellectualizin'” he says. But, Jethro says there is one thing he cares about.

“Sticking it to the goddamned libtards and socialists and cucks,” Jethro told his right-wing oriented podcast audience of roughly two or three dozen loyal listeners this weekend.

Bohiggins’ podcast is dedicated to “trolling” liberals and trying to “trigger” them. Jethro says he got the idea for his podcast last year, during Trump’s presidential campaign. When he saw how much Trump tried to insult and bully his opponents, especially liberals, a light bulb went off in his head.

“For a long time, presidents in every party would get sworn in and try to play nice with the people who didn’t even vote for him, but now we got a guy who says, ‘Fuck all the haters. I’m only the president for the people who like me.’ And that is so refreshing,” Jehtro told his audience.

As the most recent episode of his podcast was being recorded, President Trump sent a tweet that Bohiggins just knew he had to address right there on the spot. Trump’s tweet, below, seemed to be yet another back and forth insult toward North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, whose country also possesses a nuclear arsenal. Trump’s tweet addresses being called “old” by Un, and then lobs his own insult back at him, albeit with a faux-subtlety.

“Ha ha! You know why I fuckin’ love this tweet,” Jethro asked his co-host Skillet Jones, “because libtards everywhere are gonna cry about how immature it is. They’ll screech and howl about how if a Democrat had done this we’d be calling him, rightly so, a big ol’ immature baby bitch boy. But you know what Skillet? Fuck that. I’m all-in on this tweet and I think it proves yet again how God Emperor Big Daddy Dear President Trump is playing 8.2 million dimensional Candy Land with the libtards.”

Skillet asked Bohiggins if there was anything Trump could do, “besides cucky libtarded stuff,” to lose his support. Jethro simply laughed in response. After he collected himself, he gave his co-host an answer.

“Hey man, as long as there’s a libtard somewhere getting upset by it, I don’t care if he nukes California and takes a dump on the Lincoln Memorial’s steps,” Bohiggins said.

More satire:


James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This