Mike Flynn Says Trump Can Remain Президент навсегда

MOSCOW, RHODE ISLAND — Pardoned traitor against the United States, General Comrade Michael Flynn has been quite public about his desire for outgoing, lame duck, one term, permanently-impeached loser President Donald Trump to use the military to invalidate last month’s electi0n. Flynn has done several interviews in the last few days in which he has outright stated his belief that Trump has the moral and legal authority to use the military to re-run elections in states Trump’s feelings were overly damaged by losing. Now, in a newly published interview with The Russian Times, Flynn says that Trump can remain “Президент навсегда.”

Roughly translated into English, that means “president forever.”

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“As far as I’m concerned, once he was in power, he has the right to stay there for however long he wants to stay, regardless of any so-called votes being so-called counted,” Flynn argued in the interview. “Quite frankly, the Constitution clearly gives Trump the right to stay Президент навсегда! I suggest he exercise that right, or America will die of socialism. I’m not even kidding! Full blown, commiecuck socialism!”

Flynn, who pled guilty twice to lying to the FBI about contacts he had with the Russian government during the transition of power between former President Barack Obama and Donald Trump, said that he thinks “votes are secondary to keeping Republicans in power” and that “freedom doesn’t mean always having your vote counted.”

“I’m sorry, but these people who got socialism’d into voting for Biden should have known that it’s illegal to vote for a liberal,” Flynn said, “and if that ain’t in the Constitution, clearly it was written by Never Trumpers with a grudge.”

General Flynn famously led several changes of “lock her up” about Hillary Clinton’s personal email server back during the 2016 presidential race. However, while Ms. Clinton has not spent a single day behind bars in the last four years, Mr. Flynn has spent months in jail. Until he received a pardon from Trump, it was looking like Flynn would have been spending quite a few more years there as well.

“All I’m saying is that maybe the whole president thing isn’t good for America anymore and we just need a God emperor king,” Flynn suggested. “So if that means Mr. Trump remains Президент навсегда, then that’s what needs to happen. Because it’s far better to have a racist white collar con man in office than a Democrat. That’s just fact.”

Joe Biden will officially become president on January 20th, 2021 at noon eastern.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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