Mexico Offers to Pay to Teach MTG What Real Bombs Look Like

The Government of Mexico officially offered to give Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) as much money as she needs to hire a tutor who can teach her to tell the difference between real bombs and fake ones. In a formal offer letter sent to Greene’s congressional office, Mexican officials say they saw a recent House Republican hearing on the border that was held in Texas, and noted that Greene divulged classified information about a device she said was a bomb found by a border patrol agent.

The only problem? It wasn’t a bomb.

Shortly after the hearing concluded, Border Chief Raul Ortiz tweeted a picture of the alleged bomb. Ortiz’s tweet threw cold water on Greene’s claims. In a briefing back in January, Ortiz was told that the device was simply a “duct taped ball full of sand.”

Remarkably, Ortiz’s tweet didn’t give Greene cause to walk back her allegation. In fact, she doubled-down on it. In a tweet of her own, Greene cast doubt on Ortiz’s explanation, while never acknowledging that she divulged classified information in the first place.

In Mexico’s letter to Greene, offering to teach her how to identify actual bombs, they say their offer should be seen as “an olive branch” and they want to “help keep the congresswoman from looking quite so clueless as she usually does.”

“We can only assume that Rep. Greene enjoys being embarrassed around the world, because she keeps doing stuff like this,” Mexico’s government said, “but if by some chance she is tired of being the town fool, country’s idiot, and continent’s dumfuck, she can take us up on our offer. We’ll send one of our federal law enforcement agents to her office, and they can instruct Congresspony  Greene on how to properly identify a bomb.”

Greene’s office has yet to respond to Mexico’s offer.


She should probably take them up on it. #MarjorieTaylorGreene #satire #politics #politik #political #immigration

♬ original sound – James Schlarmann – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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