Melania Trump To Wear Michelle Obama’s 2009 Inauguration Dress

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — As she watches her husband, alleged billionaire and President-Elect Donald J. Trump be sworn in next January, Melania Trump will do so wearing a dress very familiar to political observers.

“Mrs. Trump will be wearing the exact same dress that Mrs. Obama wore back in 2009,” Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s campaign manager, told the press outside Trump Tower this morning.

Conway says that Melania and Trump’s staff began looking for inaugural day dresses as soon as it became apparent they were going to pull off the most stunning upset in American presidential history. They decided among themselves that they’d like to “pay homage” to the past and also to “calm the nerves of Americans who are anxious about what a Trump presidency means.” Their calculation, Conway says, is that maybe Democratic voters will see Mrs. Trump in Mrs. Obama’s and feel a sense of ease that things will be alright and there won’t be much tumult in the next four years.

“Our thinking is that if we put Melania up on that dais,” Conway said, “and she’s standing behind her bewigged husband as he raises his tiny right hand and takes the oath of office on that great and glorious day, people will see all will be okay if she’s wearing Mrs. Obama’s dress. It really does make sense in the most Trump way possible.”

In order to make sure there were no hard feelings between them, Conway reports that Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Trump talked about the dress. Melania needed to ask Mrs. Obama for the dress, since she was going to use the exact same one, Conway says. The meeting, she said, went quite well and she relayed the details to the press corps.

“Michelle, I ‘d really like to borrow that dress you wore in 2009,” Melania asked.

“Sure, let me go get it for you,” Mrs. Obama replied.

First Lady Obama went off to another room and returned with a dress bag. She handed it over to Melania.

“Here’s the dress,” Mrs. Obama said.

“Here’s the dress,” Melania said.

“Yup, that’s the dress,” Michelle said.

“Yup, that’s the dress,” Melania replied.

“Exactly, this is the dress,” Michelle said.

“Exactly, this is the dress,” Melania said.

After another forty-five minutes of this, aides started to shuffle Mrs. Trump off.

“Goodbye, Melania,” Michelle Obama said.

“Goodbye, Melania,” Melania Trump said.

President-elect Donald Trump will be sworn in on January 20th, 2017. He will be the 45th man to take the oath of office. He will be the first Republican to be sworn-in since George W. Bush’s 2005 re-election.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This