McDonald’s Cashier Offers to Buy Truth Social For 25 Cents Per User

Billionaire Elon Musk joined the board of social media site Twitter this week, after he purchased just under 10% of the company’s available stock. While the world waits to see what, if any, changes that Musk can usher through, it appears his big stock play inspired someone who makes considerably less money than he does to make a similar move.

While visiting the McDonald’s just up the road from his South Florida luxury resort, former, one term, twice permanently impeached President Donald Trump lamented to Barry McSherry, the cashier taking his order, that people weren’t flocking to Truth Social. Last year, to much fanfare among the MAGA crowd, Trump announced that he was creating his own social media platform, after being kicked off all the existing major sites in the wake of his insurrectile dysfunction on January 6th, 2021.

MORE: Putin Ends Draft Exemption for Bone Spurs and Racism

Even though former Congressman Devin Nunes (Q-CA) gave up his seat to run the company, reports are that things have been so abysmal that top executives and engineers are already fleeing Truth Social. Sensing an opportunity, McSherry told us in an interview today that he decided to do what Musk did, and make himself a significant stockholder in Truth Social.

“He seemed really down. Normally, Don orders at least two twenty piece McNuggets, a Big Mac, two Filet O’ Fish sandwiches, six large fries, a chocolate shake, and a 42-ounce Coke. But this time, he left off the shake, which made me think the pain he was feeling over yet another failed business was dragging him down, depressing him,” McSherry explained to us. “So, I thought maybe if I lighten his load, financially speaking, maybe he’d cheer up, and quite frankly get out of my line more quickly, because he smells like farts, tanning cream, and hair product.”

Working at McDonald’s, though, meant that McSherry needed to be frugal and wise with his offer. After thinking about it for a moment or two, he told Trump he was willing to purchase just under 10% of Truth Social’s available stock offering. His price?

“I told him I could afford a quarter per user. I thought that was pretty fair, actually. I also think it showed I was serious, because it’s not like a couple hundred bucks is easy to come up with on my salary,” McSherry explained. “Obviously, I didn’t want to insult the guy. He seems like he throws tantrums pretty easily.”

Former President Trump informed Barry that he would have to speak to his “various business associates” before making any decisions. In a tweet, Musk called McSherry a “pedo” for “stealing” his idea and “being a copy cat.”

MORE: Disney to Sell MAGA Mickey Ears, Greet Republicans as ‘Domestic Terrorists,’ Not Boys or Girls


Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This