Local Man Wondering If You Noticed His Oversized Truck

Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley and his unnecessarily large, rolled-coal Dodge RAM 3500.
Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley and his unnecessarily large, rolled-coal Dodge RAM 3500.

PENN VALLEY, CA — Standing at just over 5 foot 6 inches, Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA  felt no need to yield at his home town’s controversial roundabout because in his words, “why should I?” Mr. Dickens, who drives an illegally modified “coal-rolled” Dodge RAM 3500 truck, narrowly missed crushing a Toyota Prius which was exiting the roundabout yesterday afternoon.

“I’m hard to miss, you know,” said a cocky Mr. Dickens speaking with Not Really News out in front of his Penn Valley home. “I mean, look how big she is. How could you not notice it? What are you, stupid or something?”

Mr. Dickens, who is a high school drop out and a Trump supporter, has recently stirred up trouble around the county for what many call his arrogant and overcompensating attitude regarding his truck. There have been several eyewitness accounts that he disregarded basic traffic laws, often blowing-through stop signs, making illegal right turns from the far left-hand lanes, among other things.  One local resident said she saw him tossing what appeared to be a box of nails out his window, although Not Really News has not been able to confirm that. More recently, there have been disturbing reports that he attempted to drive over several hybrid and electric vehicles in the Raley’s supermarket parking lot, because in his words, “why the fuck not?”

“Yeah, so what?” questioned an oddly over-confident Mr. Dickens. “I’ve got the size and I’m not afraid to use it. What are they going to do about it? Cry at their charging station?”

In psychology, compensation is a strategy whereby one covers up, consciously or unconsciously, weaknesses, frustrations, desires, or feelings of inadequacy or incompetence in one life area through the gratification or (drive towards) excellence in another area. Compensation can cover up either real or imagined deficiencies and personal or physical inferiority. Often people who exhibit this kind of behavior are horrendous dicks and haven’t been laid in decades.

“I’m not overcompensating, you assholes,” continued Mr. Dickens, whose mood continued to elevate. “I know what it is to be a man and take charge, like Trump. If you don’t like it, take your Prius and drive to some limp-dick place like Canada or Denmark. It’s a man’s world and I’ve got my truck to prove it. Now go fuck yourself. Pussies.”

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