Everybody’s favorite douchebag campaign manager/White House aide since Lee Atwater — the man known as Karl Rove — was recently heard on weekend talk shows defending the practice of “rectal feeding.” The subject comes up as part of the recently released Senate report on CIA torture tactics used on suspected terrorists — or even just those that the government probably knew pretty early-on weren’t terrorists at all — during the George W. Bush administration’s overseeing of the War on Terror. Essentially, in order to keep patients alive and hydrated during waterboarding sessions, doctors would rape terror suspects’ assholes with plastic tubes and then fire food and water up the tube into their bodies the back way.
Yes, it’s as vile and disgusting as you’re imagining, and yes, the people who ordered it and carried it out and gave it legal cover absolutely belong behind bars for it. But well, this is America and justice is never served except to elite members of the ruling class and of course cops who kill unarmed men in the street.
But we here at The Political Garbage Chute believe that if ol’ Turd Blossom really is super-totes-okay with rectally feeding, it’s probably because he’s tried it. Or he’d at least be willing to try it, and if so, you just know this piece of human detritus would have a list of his favorite foods to have rammed up his colon through a plastic tube.