Jim Jordan Promises House Investigation to Find Wife’s Clit

Rep. Jim Jordan (Q-OH) already has a healthy spate of investigations he’s planning to conduct as chairman of the House Judiciary Committee. Jordan has not hidden the fact that he wants to look into several issues surrounding President Biden’s son’s dick pics, but this morning, the Ohio Republican indicated that the probe into Hunter Biden’s laptop will have to wait until he conducts what he calls a “far more urgent search mission.”

“I need to locate my wife’s clit, if such a thing even exists,” Jordan said on Fox News.

Rep. Jordan then explained why he’s very skeptical that his wife even has a clit.

“I remember very clearly Rush Limbaugh telling me for years that Big FemiNazi invented the idea of the clit to shame men who can’t make their wives cum,” Jordan said. “Of course, then he also threw cold water on the myth of the female orgasm anyway. But the point is, my wife has told me not to worry about it because someone can find it just fine, but I still feel like it’s high time I got to the bottom of where my wife’s clitoris is located, and what if anything it has to do with Benghazi or Hunter Biden’s dick pics.”

Jordan’s wife could not be reached for comment, but her boyfriend told us she’s happy her husband at least acknowledges she might have a clit. This story will be updated with the progress of Congressman Jordan’s investigation.

@jamboschlarmbo Good luck Jim, but I think she’s got it covered. #jimjordan #houserepublicans #houseGOP #satire #politicalsatire #politics #political #politik ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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