Jan 6 Committee Wants to Ask Meadows When He Knew Trump Was a Little Bitch Who Can’t Handle Losing

The House committee investigating the failed insurrection of January 6th, 2021 sent letters to former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows this weekend, signaling their desire to ask him, under oath, about what he knew about his former boss, and when.

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The bipartisan commission is seeking more information from Meadows, whose text messages from the time leading up to and on the day of the coup show a concerted effort among pro-MAGA politicians to stop the certification of Joe Biden as president. It would appear their questions are attempting to ascertain Trump’s state of mind before, during, and after he attempted to dismantle American democracy.

Speaking to reporters today, Clint Barrister — a congressional aide assisting the January 6th committee — explained what it is that they’re hoping to ask Meadows about.

“Former Chief of Staff Meadows was sent several letters over the past few days indicating that the committee would like to know exactly when he figured out Donald Trump is a little cry baby bitch who can’t handle losing,” Barrister said. “We sent a letter addressed to Mark in all fifty states, just in case he’s registered to vote somewhere else we don’t know about yet. That way, there’s no chance he doesn’t see the committee’s request.”

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Barrister indicated that over the course of their investigation, the January 6th Committee has formulated a theory about the insurrection — that it wouldn’t have happened if Donald Trump wasn’t such a sore loser cry baby bitch. Now that they believe they have his motive pinned down, the committee wants to know which among his staff knew he was a dangerous little bitch who couldn’t handle losing like an adult.

Rep. Jim Jordan (Q-OH) wasted no time trashing the committee’s attempts to get Meadows to open up about when he knew Trump was a little bitch boy. Jordan appeared on Fox News this morning and called the committee a “abomination” and blasted fellow Republicans Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, the only two Republicans on the committee.

“Why don’t they just change their names to Mr. and Mrs. Soros and get it over with? How can any Republican help the Democrats hold Republicans responsible over a little trifling matter such as subverting the will of the people,” Jordan howled. “If I wasn’t so busy trying to prove to my wife her clit doesn’t exist and that’s why I can’t find it, I would personally go smack every member of the committee in the mouth for participating in this farcical attempt to hurt King Daddy Don Trump’s chances of being restored to his throne in 2024.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on TikTok, Patreon, Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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