Huckabee – “States Can Ignore SCOTUS on Gay Marriage, Slavery, and Jim Crow”

STANK MOUNTAIN, ARKANSAS — The Mike Huckabee 2016 campaign has issued a statement clarifying remarks that their candidate made recently regarding this summer’s highly-anticipated Supreme Court decisions on six cases that could effectively make marriage equality the law of the land. Speaking to conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt, Huckabee told listeners that in his opinion, the Supreme Court is not the final arbiter on any matter. Huckabee told the radio host that he is “angry about…this notion of judicial supremacy, where if the court makes a decision, I hear governors and even some aspirants to the presidency say, ‘Well that’s settled, it’s the law of the land.’ No, it’s not the law of the land.”

Fans of constitutional law know that the idea of “nullifying” a Federal law with a state law is the legal equivalent of shoving a watermelon into gopher hole. It’s not possible. The supremacy clause being a well-established part of constitutional law for decades, The Political Garbage Chute reached out too the Stank Mountain, AK local affiliate of the Huckabee 2016 campaign and asked whether or not Huckabee really believes that states have a right to nullify laws that come down from the Federal government.

“Governor Huckabee believes in states’ rights,” said Huckabee 2016 spokesman Tom Templeton. “So yes, he believes that any federal law can be made obsolete by a state legislature.” When asked if that means he feels states can nullify the anti-discrimination laws that ended Jim Crow, Templeton responded, “Of course. States’ Rights, bitch. What part of that do you not understand?”

Our reporter then asked Templeton if that meant that Huckabee feels that if a state legalized marijuana and gay marriages that any government agency could overturn those types of laws. He responded with, “Well, that’s different because as Mr. Huckabee told Mr. Hewitt, he is standing up for the Biblical, historical definition of marriage.” When asked if selling your daughter into marriage for a few livestock animals is what Huckabee meant by “Biblical” marriage, Templeton blurted out, “BENGHAZI!” and hung up the phone on our reporter.

The idea that states can nullify federal laws has been adjudicated and settles several times throughout the country’s history. Starting in 1798, just a few years after the Constitution was ratified, anti-federalists in the states have attempted to subvert the Constitution’s authority over state law, which is established by Article VI, Paragraph 2 of the Constitution. We tried asking Huckabee or his representatives if they’d heard of the Supremacy Clause or have even read Article VI, Paragraph 2 of the Constitution, but were unable to reach them after our initial interview.

We asked Johnny Sac du Corps, a freshman law student who just started at the George Washington School of Law in Flat Biscuit, Missouri what he thought of Huckabee telling Hewitt that, “Constitutionally, the courts cannot make a law, they can interpret one and then the legislature has to create enabling legislation and the executive has to sign it and has to enforce it.”

Sac du Corps said, “Yeah, he’s right that the Supreme Court can’t write laws. We learn that in fifth grade. We also learn that what the Supremes will be doing this summer is simply stating whether or not an established law is constitutional or not. Which means it’s the federal government nullifying the state law as being unconstitutional. It doesn’t work the other way around.” We asked Sac du Corps if he learned that tidbit in one of his law courses. He just laughed and said, “Sure, if you count elementary school civics as a law course.”

Mike Huckabee didn’t graduate from any law schools ever. He does however have a degree in religion from Ouachita Baptist University which, argues his supporters, makes him more than qualified to chime in on things like constitutional law.


James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This