House GOP Will Investigate If Biden’s Missing Docs Contained Obama’s Real Birth Certificate

House Republicans announced today that they intend to open a congressional investigation whether classified documents returned by aides to President Biden to the National Archives contain Barack Obama’s actual birth certificate, or Hillary Clinton’s Benghazi “stand down” order. First, however, they intend to have MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell and his crack dealer vet the documents.

“Ordinarily, I’d have my team of sasquatch lawyers handle it,” Lindell said on OANN this morning, “but they were all too busy, so I decided to ask my crack dealer to help out. Luckily for me, and my crack habit, my dealer is always available for me, so we look forward to exposing everything, once we have a chance to doctor – I mean vet – the docs.”

Alleged Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) has not decided who will run the select subcommittee in charge of the investigation, but told reporters today “that decision will be made in short order.”

“As soon as Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, and Lauren Boebert tell me what I should think about this decision, which I can only assume they’ll know once Donald Trump tells them what they think,” McCarthy explained, “I’ll be able to let you all in on the process, and tell you who will lead this inquisition.”

@jamboschlarmbo Waht do you think was in the #Biden documents? #satire #politics #politik #political #trump #classifieddocuments ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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