Homeless Man Flips Off Ben Carson and Tells Him ‘Stupidity Is A State of Republicanism’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — While he was out getting some fresh air, Dr. Ben Carson was flipped off by a homeless man and told that “stupidity is a state of Republicanism.” Carson, the nation’s Housing and Urban Development Secretary, was likely accosted by the homeless man because of comments he made during a Sirius/XM radio interview. In the interview, Carson implied that those who live in poverty only do so because they lack the right mindset to pull themselves out of it.

As reported by The Hill:

“You take somebody that has the right mindset, you take everything from them and put them on the street and I guarantee in a little while they’ll be right back up there,” he said in a SiriusXM radio interview released Wednesday. “And you take somebody with the wrong mindset, you can give them everything in the world, they’ll work their way right back down to the bottom.” (source)

Witnesses say the homeless man was sitting out in front of a Dunkin’ Donuts shop when Carson walked by. The man stopped Carson, asking him if he was in fact the same guy who gave the interview to Sirius/XM. Carson confirmed his identity for the man.

“Okay, cool, I have something here for you,” the man said.

Carson smiled.

“I love getting gifts,” Carson said, “lay it on me!”

The homeless man fished inside his pants for a few seconds. His eyes darted to Carson, who was starting to fall asleep from lack of brain activity in the last fifteen seconds. The man quickly removed his hand from his pocket, raised it toward Mr. Carson, and then extended his middle finger.

“Here you guy, fuck-o,” the homeless man said as he thrust his middle finger toward Carson, “and just so you know, poverty may or not be a state of mind, but without a doubt stupidity is a state o Republicanism.”

Carson was taken aback.

“My good sir,” Carson attempted to reason, “how can you say such things about the Republican Party?”

The homeless man laughed extremely hard.

“Easily,” the man said, “because it’s fucking true. You guys claim that life begins at conception, ignoring that there are weeks of gestation to get a zygote to the point that it’s viable outside the womb. You deny the overwhelming evidence and consensus of the scientific community that anthropogenic climate change is real, secondly. Thirdly, you all still believe in Trickle Down economics.”

Secretary Carson wagged a finger.

“Now, that’s just not true,” Carson said, “no textbook on economics mentions the phrase Trickle Down as an actual economic theory.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” the homeless man said, “it was a term coined to help people better grasp the fact that it’s utter mythology. Because you know, some people are so stupid in this country that they actually believe rich people end up having so much money they let it trickle down to the plebes out of the kindness of their hearts, as long as we cut their taxes so low we literally have no services or a society left.”

Carson could sense he wasn’t going to win the argument, so he bade the man farewell.

“Take your farewell and shove it up your ass,” the homeless man said, “Capt. I’m Black and Belong to the Party Who Freed the Slaves Only to Move Them to the Penitentiaries Instead.”

You can follow James on Twitter @JamesSchlarmann.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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