Hillary Clinton Circling Omarosa’s Building Shouting, ‘Lock Her Up!’

At the time of publication, eyewitnesses are reporting that former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has been circling the home of former Trump administration staffer Omarosa Manigault in a late model sedan shouting, “Lock her up!”

Ms. Manigault has been making waves over the last couple of days after she started touring the country promoting her new book, “Unhinged.” During the press tour, Omarosa — who came into the president’s orbit when she was a contestant during the first season of Trump’s reality-TV show “The Apprentice” — has released secret recordings she made of her conversations with Chief of Staff John Kelly, and even President Trump himself. The recording of Mr. Kelly and Manigault’s conversation was particularly troubling to many who believe it was a gross violation of national security policies, far worse even than the personal email server that caused Ms. Clinton to be the subject of a criminal FBI investigation.

“LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP,” Clinton has been heard shouting over and over again and she circles Manigault’s home. “LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!”

Manigault was long considered one of the most loyal of Trump’s inner circle, until Kelly came on board. It wasn’t long before Omarosa was out, and the rumors swirling around her departure seemed to indicate it was a messy one. The release of her recordings seem to show that President Trump either was lying to her about knowing she was fired by Kelly, or perhaps that Trump isn’t making the actual hiring and firing decisions. None of that was on Ms. Clinton’s mind this morning however.
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“LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP,” Clint was shouting just moments before this story was finalized and published. “LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!”

Reached for comment, Congressman Darrell Issa put down the matches and gasoline he was carrying “for no reason at all” to his car and spoke to us about the situation unfolding at Omarosa’s house.

“Benghazi, Fast and Furious, IRS,” Issa told us, ignoring our actual questions and choosing instead to just list the scandals he believed plagued the Obama administration. “FEMA camps, terrorist fist bumps, beige suits, mustard on burgers, prolly from Muslim or Islam or some other Sharia country, did I mention Benghazi? Cuz Benghazi!”

This is a developing story.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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