Hannity Was Served His January 6th Subpoena While He Was Still Inside Trump’s Butthole

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA — Not long after the Select Congressional Committee investigating the events of January 6th, 2021 announced that it was seeking cooperation from Fox News host Sean Hannity, he was served with a subpoena demanding his testimony.

The fact that Hannity was served a subpoena is likely not a surprise to many. The committee recently publicized several text messages between Hannity and former President Don Trump from the day of the reality-TV star’s failed coup. This might indicate Hannity was quite well-aware of Trump’s plan to remain in office, despite losing to Joe Biden.

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What might be surprising, however, is where Hannity was when his suboena was served. At a press conference held just moments ago, committee member Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL) announced that Hannity had been given his subpoena. Kinzinger also divulged Hannity’s whereabouts at the time.

“Federal agents were able to triangulate Mr. Hannity’s position using his tweet metadata. Once they determined that Sean was completely burrowed inside Don Trump’s cinnamon hole, they knew they could act on the subpoena and serve it to him,” Kinzinger told reporters.

Hannity apparently thought that no one would be able to find him in Trump’s ass wallet, but Kinzinger laughed as he called that “one of the dumbest ideas ever.”

“I mean, honestly inside Trump’s butthole would be the FIRST place I’d look for Sean, not the last,” Kinzinger said with a grin.

Mr. Hannity reportedly has retained legal counsel that also represents Mr. Trump. Hannity’s lawyer could not be reached for comment.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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