INCESTLAND, GEORGIA — Recently, a school board in Texas gained notoriety when it ordered the graphic novel “Maus” removed from its school libraries, effectively barring it from campus. The book was written by a man whose parents were survivors of the Holocaust, and is meant to educate children on the dangers of the kinds of genocidal authoritarianism that Adolf Hitler ruled his Third Reich with.
Social conservatives have defended the banning of “Maus,” and in states where Donald Trump won the most votes in 2020, dozens more books have been added to restricted lists. Last night, freshman Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene participated in a Trump rally that also served as a bonfire at which pro-MAGA Americans could bring any book they feel is a threat to their children, in order to toss it into the fire. Greene was live streaming the event on her Facebook account.
At one point during her broadcast, Greene picked up her own copy of “Maus.” She turned it over a couple of times, unsure what to do with the letters and words contained within it. Unable to read it, Greene simply held the graphic novel up to the camera and shook her head, clucking her tongue. Then, with force, she hurled the book into the bonfire.
“It’s just so sad, fam, that the libtards out there in America are canceling everything, isn’t it? First, it was us telling jokes that have the N-word in them,” Greene complained.
“Then, they canceled Mr. Potato Head’s glorious potato cock. Next thing you know, they’re doing CRT to the kids, and they make the green M&M so woke Tucker doesn’t want to bang it anymore! What in the world is this country coming to?”
Ms. Greene fished a crack pipe out of her designer purse, which none of her constituents will ever be able to afford, and placed a crack rock into it. Firing up “Torchie,” her favorite crack torch, Greene hit the crack rock with the flame, and drew a big, fat hit of crack into her equine lungs, before exhaling.
“That’s the shit right there, fam! Can’t wait until Trump’s back in office and I can convince him to let me use the Secret Jewish Space Laser to light up my rocks! Trump 2024, ALL THE WAY!”
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.