My Grandpa Smoked for 50 Years and Died of Lung Cancer After He Got a COVID Vaccine

The following editorial was submitted to us by Frank Lee Stew-Pitt, who calls himself a “defender of medical freedom and slayer of common sense tyranny.” The views and opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pitt, and not necessarily those of this outlet, its ownership, or management.

I know I am not the only one, and in fact I am a member of a growing number of American Patriots who are alarmed, if not downright freaking out, about the COVID-19 vaccines. I actually don’t think they should be called “vaccines,” because my primitive, and therefore conservative and correct definition of a vaccine is that it must prevent someone from even getting infected. Which is not technically the definition of a vaccine, but again, in my conservative view, it is true, and as long as I feel it’s true, my reality is what I feel.

Why am I concerned about the COVID-19 vaccines? Because people keep dropping dead after they get them, that’s why.

You’ve seen the stories. Someone gets a vaccine, and within six months to a year or so, they die! I’ve seen stories of people getting hit by a bus weeks after they get a COVID shot! And yet the lamestream media isn’t paying attention to those stories, and you have to assume it’s because George Soros or someone similarly socialist told them to ignore them!

But they can’t convince me to ignore my grandfather. My grandpa Silas was a great man. A truly great man. He worked hard, every day, and he relaxed every night with a pack of Camels. He smoked those cigarettes with glee, and he should have! It was his right as an American.

Still, as great a man as Silas was, he was preyed upon by the Woke Left, who forced him to get a COVID-19 vaccine booster. Someone must have literally come to his door, put a gun to his head, and told him he had to get one. Or he did it because he wanted to fly without wearing a mask. But the point is, he got a COVID-19 vaccine…

…and then he died of lung cancer!

He was a perfectly fine, lifelong smoker, got the COVID jab, and within six months he got his lung cancer diagnosis. Just a year later, he died! So someone out there explain to me why I shouldn’t be suspicious that my grandpa died of lung cancer a mere eighteen months after he got his COVID vaccines.

I’ll be waiting here for an answer I’m sure I won’t get!

@jamboschlarmbo Won't someone investigate this?! #satire #politics #vaccinesaresafe #getvaccinated #political #politik ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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