Graham Blasts Biden For “Politicizing” Politically-Motivated Terrorist Attack

The morning of the anniversary of the most violent attack on the U.S. Capitol since the country’s inception, President Joe Biden gave a fiery speech, condemning the coup attempted that day, its perpetrators, and placing the blame for the events that transpired squarely on former President Don Trump. Sources close to the situation are reporting that Biden’s speech upset one senator and ardent Trump defender so much, he took to social media and professed his extreme displeasure.

In a tweet, Senator Lindsey Graham (Q-Trump’s Taint) blasted President Biden’s speech, calling it “brazen politicization of January 6.”

Hannity Was Served His January 6th Subpoena While He Was Still Inside Trump’s Butthole

Later in the day, a breathless Graham, whose face seemed to be smeared with orange paint, particularly around his mouth region, explained his tweet a bit further.

“I know it might make me sound really stupid to accuse the president of politicizing political violence, and I know it might sound idiotic for me to say that Biden is making this about politics when the attack itself happened over politics,” Graham explained. “But that’s all a bunch of hogwash.”

Graham cleared his throat, expelling a small chuck of chewed-up Big Mac, and continued.

“It’s the Republican voters that are stupid. It’s the Republican voters that are idiots. Because they’re the ones who agree that Biden was politicizing January 6th, and they believe everything Don Trump says,” Graham said. “So I’m not stupid. I’m a disingenuous hack politician, and I really wish you all would keep those two things straight.”

Graham thanked the reporters and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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