GOP Chair: ‘White Lives Matter’ Rallies Draw Bigger Crowds When Trump Holds Them

GOP Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel told Fox News this morning that she “was not surprised at all” by reports over the weekend that so-called “white lives matter” rallies were sparsely attended. McDaniel chalked up the low attendance numbers to a couple of “contributing factors.”

“Number one,” McDaniel explained, “the rallies were spread out, and we all know it’s far more fun and entertaining to light a cross in a big group. Number two, and I think this is really the big reason hardly anybody showed up, President Trump didn’t attend. Whenever Trump is there, you get massive crowds. When he’s not, well, it’s a crapshoot at best.”

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McDaniel suggested that if the people who organized the White Lives Matter rallies want to increase attendance, they may want to consider making a couple of changes.

“First of off, maybe just call them MAGA rallies. I mean, I think most of us think of white power rallies when see MAGA rallies anyway, so why not just embrace who we really are, know what I mean? Second of off, they should just hold one rally and have our Dear President speak at it. I’ve never seen a larger gathering of racist white Americans in my life than when he speaks at a rally.”

McDaniel suggested that the rallies could have much larger attendance numbers if they follow her advice, and pointed to a fairly recent example of a white lives matter rally that was “chock-full of people.”

“Back on January 6th, we saw how many angry, aggrieved, melanin-free people might attend if you give them who they want to see,” McDaniel explained. “So, clearly, when you put a star on the top of the bill, you’re going to sell more tickets. I guess in this case, though, you’d sell more white robes and hoods. You get the idea though.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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