GA Accuses Greene of Taking Tax Deductions on Two Separate Home Meth Labs

ATLANTA, GEORGIA — The State of Georgia is accusing one of its own congressional representatives of illegally taking a tax deduction on two separate home meth labs.

In paperwork filed yesterday, Georgia’s tax collection agency says that freshman Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) took deductions on two individual meth labs. The state passed a law in 2017 allowing residents to write off a portion of the property taxes and maintenance costs on a single meth lab based out of their home. However, according to Georgia law, one cannot take those deductions on multiple meth labs.

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“If Rep. Greene had simply taken the deductions on only one of her home meth labs, she would have been in the clear,” Georgia tax bureau media contact Sharon Lee told us via Skype today. “The matter has been referred to our enforcement division, however, because Ms. Greene attempted to write-off both of her labs.”

The penalties for breaking the meth lab deduction law are civil, not criminal, but they could cost Greene quite a bit at any rate.

“According to Georgia law, if she’s found to have intentionally and willfully attempted to write off both labs, she could lose her state certification to own and operate any lab,” Lee said. “We could even put a lien on any meth sales, or even take her stock of fully cooked meth. Because it’s an ongoing investigation, some details are fluid, and I can’t discuss all the specifics here.”

Lee says that, according to Georgia law, Greene now has two weeks to respond to the accusation of cheating on her taxes, but state law also dictates that Greene will need her husband’s permission to address the government directly.

“As a woman, she’s still considered just three-fifths of a citizen, due to a really old law never being amended here,” Lee explained. “We expect Mr. Greene will give her permission, as he’ll want to have this whole meth lab situation cleared up as well. We can only assume that he’s a meth addict, because you’d have to be on some kind of hardcore drug or another to willingly subject yourself to Marjorie’s words, voice, and/or face.”

In a related development, the U.S. Horseracing League has indicated they will be investigating Greene on doping allegations. If she’s convicted, Rep. Greene may be disqualified from next year’s competitions, all but assuring she won’t meet her goal of winning re-election and the Triple Crown next year.

Rep. Greene could not be pulled away from her crack pipe long enough to comment on this story.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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