NEW YORK, NEW YORK — People who hate the mainstream, corporate media’s constant political bias can get a new option for their weather information thanks to the kind benevolence of billionaire cartoon villain and wrinkled prune with genitals, Rupert Murdoch. in the coming weeks, Fox News will launch its own version of The Weather Channel.
Recent postings in the fascist megamedia trade publications suggest that Fox Weather is looking to recruit three to five “top notch, true blue, red-white and blue, red meat eating, ammo hoarding, gun toting Super-Meteorologists.”
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“If you think you’ve got that perfect combination of booze-and-pilled-popped rage, a firm grasp of alternative weather science, and a blind hatred for a political ideology you literally don’t understand while ironically reaping the benefits of years of progress won by it,” the weather ad says, “then we’d love to meet you! Please send in your reel and/or most viral truck cab YouTube/Rumble rant, and we’ll be in touch if we think Fox Weather would be good home for you!”
According to sources inside Fox Weather speaking on the condition of anonymity and a couple of gift cards to Bass Pro Shops, one of the key missions of the channel will be find weather forecasters who can convince the American people that hurricanes are caused by Antifa. In 2018, the late Rush Limbaugh discussed the theory with one of the underaged prostitutes he’d fly to Puerto Rico to bang on his podcast, With Pedophilia on Loan from God.
“Rush and his special little lover guest friend talked about how it’s been well-known since they started talking about it that George Soros and Barak HUSSEIN Obama hatched this plan with Antifa back in 2010,” our insider told us. “It’s pretty much considered gospel in the Q-mmunity. Word is Don Jr has a ‘No Antifa, No Hurricanes’ tattoo on his dick. Or at least the top part of the first N.”
Fox Weather also expects each of its meteorologists to help “maintain Newscorp’s stellar reputation for climate denialism.”
“Qualified applicants will be ready, willing, and able to help guide America’s heartland away from science and data,” the job posting states, “and toward conspiracy theories and scientifically illiterate bullshit, from the jump. We want you to hit the ground running, spewing nonsense and misinformation as you do.”
Fox Weather will begin broadcasting later this year.
NO YOU’RE DOING TOO MUCH COKE WORRYING ABOUT WHETHER YOU AND DAD WILL BE INDICTED NEXT
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.