Dr. Jill Biden Prescribes Wall St. Journal Opinion Writer ‘1000mg of Shut Your Pie Hole’

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This past weekend, social media was abuzz after The Wall Street Journal published an opinion piece about incoming First Lady Dr. Jill Biden. The thrust of the piece, written by Joseph Epstein, and in which he refers to Ms. Biden as “kiddo,” argues that she should drop the title “Dr” from her name because she’s not a medical doctor, and only holds her doctorate degree in an academic subject, not a scientific one.

To say the reaction to Epstein’s piece was “mixed,” would likely be quite the understatement. Mr. Epstein was roundly pilloried on Twitter, with users coming to Dr. Biden’s defense. Soon to be First Lady Biden earned her degree, and it is not an honorary title. She is actually the first First Lady to hold a doctorate degree, though famously Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama both had been practicing lawyers with the advanced law degrees that requires.

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The current First Lady does not hold a doctorate degree, however she did come to the United States on a so-called “Einstein” visa. This has been explained by President Trump, however, as his wife Melania loves bagels from the Einstein Brothers bagel chain, and worked there when she first arrived. Eventually, Ms. Trump found that a career mining for gold in the diaper regions of old, angry, racist, rich white men was a career choice more suited for her.

This morning, Dr. Biden’s office issued a short statement on the controversial op-ed in The Wall Street Journal, and cheekily affixed a “prescription” to the statement, though her office made it clear it was not a medicinal prescription.

“If Mr. Epstein is interested in advising career professional women as to which honorific they should or should not use, he should probably stop lecturing the women who actually earned their accolades and titles,” Dr. Biden’s statement reads. “If Mr. Epstein doesn’t want to feel inferior, he should go out and accomplish the same things Dr. Biden did, instead of shaming her for being smart.”

Ultimately, Dr. Biden said she is not willing to change anything to please men like Epstein.

“Dr. Jill Biden will not be taking advice from anyone else as to which of her accomplishments she’ll take credit for,” the statement reads. “However, though Mr. Epstein is correct in asserting she is not a medical doctor, Dr. Biden would still like to take this opportunity to prescribe 1000mg of shut your pie hole to Mr. Epstein, and he can fill that prescription at any pharmacy located near or around Dr. Biden’s middle finger.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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