Awkard! Donald In Hot Water After He Calls Ivanka “Stormy” At The Worst Time Possible!

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, the White House was witness to an extremely awkward and tense moment between President Donald Trump and his First Lady.

“Ivanka! Ivanka, c’mon, don’t be harsh on Daddy! It was an honest mistake! Anyone could have made it,” the president was overheard pleading with his daughter Ivanka. “It’s been a very upsetting last week and a half. Apparently the country grew morals about wife beaters in the White House, Hope left, and now the lawsuit!”

Reportedly, Trump was in the Oval Office with Ivanka discussing his presidential agenda for the next week. Once it was decided just how much time he would spend golfing and how much time he would spend watching Fox News and tweeting about what he saw, he and Ivanka turned their attention to other business. That’s when, in the middle of a sentence, all hell started to break loose.

“Okay, great! Oh, Stormy, don’t forget to remind me to have the tech nerds take away every channel except the channels that do good stories on me — Fox News and RT,” Trump said.

Ivanka grew angry immediately and that’s when the argument began.

According to sources close to the administration, Trump was distracted while talking to his daughter by news breaking that adult film star Stormy Daniels — real name Stephanie Crawford — is suing him. The lawsuit alleges that from 2006 to 2007 she and then Citizen Trump had an “intimate” relationship and that she was given money to be quiet about it. However, the suit also alleges that since Mr. Trump himself didn’t sign the non-disclosure agreement, it is not enforceable.

Clifford and Trump had an intimate relationship that lasted from summer 2006 “well into the year 2007.” The relationship allegedly included meetings in Lake Tahoe and at the Beverly Hills Hotel. (NBC)

“Why is she doing this? Isn’t this what I had Mike Cohen cut her that check for,” Trump asked his daughter. “The point is, Sweet Ivanka, I would never have called you Stormy otherwise. I have learned my lesson ever since I called Melania by your name, Sweetie!”

Ivanka, reportedly was perturbed but eventually forgave her father after he promised her what he always promised her as a child during times of strife between them.

“How about a new skyscraper? Can Daddy buy you a new skyscraper, honey,” Trump asked. Ivanka slowly started nodding her head. She was coming around. “Then we’ll go out for ice cream and find a homeless person to fling our ice cream at! Just like the old days, my sweet, sweet, little girl. My sweet…sexy…mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….girl.”

As the pair were seen heading out of the White House toward a real estate broker’s office to find Ivanka the perfect new high-rise, Trump put his arm around his daughter. A photographer just happened to be passing by and asked if he could get a picture of such a “cute couple.” Trump grabbed his daughter very close to him, kissed her full, open on the mouth, and told the photographer to take the shot.

This story is developing.

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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