Don Trump Jr: “John McCain Isn’t Worthy To Carry My Daddy’s Bone Spurs!”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK –The war of words between two Republican families is heating up as Donald Trump Jr., the president’s first born white collar crook, just gave an interview to a right-wing radio host in which he implied that his father deserves more praise than Senator John McCain (R-AZ).

McCain is battling brain cancer treatments in Arizona, but has not been shy about lobbing criticism at the White House — as he did before his treatments made staying in the nation’s capital impossible.

On the 2016 campaign trail, Trump attacked McCain, saying he “prefers” war heroes who “weren’t captured,” referring to McCain’s time in a Vietnamese prisoner of war camp in which he was subjected to repeated torture by the Vietcong. His experience in the POW camps has made McCain a staunch opponent of the CIA’s “extra rendition” tactics and he has said he opposes the confirmation of Trump’s nominee to lead the CIA, Gina Haspel — even calling on the Senate, which his party controls, to reject her — because she was a chief defender of the practice and doesn’t seem to condemn it harshly enough for his liking.

Over the last week, however, the tone between the McCain and Trump camps has grown even more vicious. Just hours after a Fox News guest defended Haspel and the CIA by implying torture worked on McCain, Kelly Sadler, a Trump aide, joked that the White House didn’t need to worry so much about McCain’s support for Haspel because he was “dying anyway.” A shock wave of anger over the comment washed over the Hill with people in both the Republican and Democratic parties condemning the remark.

At the White House press briefing on Friday, however, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders waved gravy-dripping fingers at the press and said she would not comment on the joke because it was made during a closed-door meeting.

It’s unclear at this time whether Sadler will keep her post. However, on ABC’s The View, McCain’s daughter Meghan ripped into Sadler, and wondered aloud why she did in fact still have her position.

This morning, the president’s son took to the air waves and was interviewed by Rip Chesterson on WKKK in Alabama. Chesterson asked Trump Jr. for his take on the scuffle brewing between the McCains and his father. The president’s son didn’t mince words.

“You know what? I think it’s a disgrace to see an honorable American hero treated this way,” Jr. said.

“Oh, so you’re actually on John McCain’s side, Don,” Chesterson asked. “I gotta admit, I didn’t see that coming.”

Trump Jr. laughed.

“No man! Fuck John McCain, he’s not the hero,” Trump Jr. said, “my daddy is! And I’ll remind everyone that McCain didn’t invite Dad to his funeral. I mean, who does McCain think he is, the rest of the planet that has some shred of human decency, or something?”

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Chesterson reminded the younger Trump that McCain served in the Vietnam War and was captured and tortured by the North Vietnamese. Then McCain served for decades in Congress, the radio host reminded Trump Jr. The president’s son waved all that off.

“John McCain isn’t worthy to carry my daddy’s bone spurs,” Trump Jr. said. “Sure he faced prison in a POW camp for years, but did he sit in a makeup chair for two hours before going onto a set and saying a catch phrase a few times? Who’s really the American hero in all this?”

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James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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