Dominion Reveals Hannity, Ingraham, Carlson Texted About No Longer Liking Taste of Trump’s D

This week newly revealed court filings in the Dominion lawsuit against Fox News, texts between Fox hosts show that in the aftermath of the 2020 election, they knew former President Donald Trump was lying about the election being stolen from him. The texts also show explicitly that Laura Ingraham, Tucker Carlson, and Sean Hannity all were growing tired of the taste of Trump’s penis.

“I gotta tell you guys,” one of Carlson’s texts to the other two reads, “at first when this whole MAGA thing started, I thought Don’s dick was a nice change of pace from Roger Aile’s shriveled man meat. But over time, I’ve gotten kind of tired of it, and I just want to go back to giving blowjobs to the blue M&M. Am I the only one?”

Hannity divulged that even though he was still giving Trump “regular handies and blowies” at that point, he too was growing tired of the routine.

“You know he still makes me put on a blonde wig and he calls me Ivanka the whole time? Doesn’t even make eye contact anymore,” Hannity complained. “It’s one thing to lie to the American people about a stolen election and expect me to tell that lie for you, it’s another to degrade me while I give you sloppy HJ’s and beejers! I just hope Ron DeSantis has a more gentle approach than Don, if I’m being real with you two right now.”

Of the three, Ingraham seemed most willing to keep giving Trump and his cohorts a platform.

“Gentlemen, I concur that all of this stolen election stuff is unmitigated bullshit,” Ingraham admitted before continuing, “but boy howdy do I love money. It fills the void in me where my heart and soul would normally be. So, I think for the good of all of us, we should keep finding ways to make Don’s peenerween (technical term) palatable, and that way the gravy train keeps right on a comin’! Interestingly enough, the Gravy Train is also what Mike Huckabee called it when he and a few of his good ol’ boys took turns piping me out at a CPAC convetion that broke out at a klan rally once. Anyway, talk to you soon, dudes! HEIL MURDOCH!”

@jamboschlarmbo #FoxNews just go so busted. #Trump #SeanHannity #LauraIngraham #TuckerCarslon #satire #politics #politik #January6th #BigLie ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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