Disney Building Drag Bar Next to Florida Governor’s Mansion

Another salvo has been fired in the war between Florida’s biggest single site employer and its governor, Republican Generalissimo Ronald DeSantis. This time, the shot came from The Walt Disney Company toward DeSantis, after the governor announced this week that he was looking a battery of further ways to punish Disney.

Last year, The House of Mouse ran afoul of DeSantis when they publicly condemned the so-called “Don’t Say Gay” law, which sought to severely restrict what teachers said about gender identity in the classroom. Disney vowed to hep fight the law, which was one of a slew of anti-LGTBQ and/or purely far right-wing socially conservative laws and executive orders DeSantis signed. Disney’s open condemnation put them in DeSantis’ crosshairs. The GoGo-booted governor with White House aspirations made moves to dissolve Disney’s special governing board which had been in existence since it was announced that Disney World would be built in the Florida swampland of Orlando decades ago.

RELATED: DeSantis Signs Law Giving Parental Rights to Rapists Six Weeks After Rape

Apparently, Mr. DeSantis threatening to build either a rival amusement park, or even a state prison next door to Disney World was a bridge too far for Disney executives, and today they announced that they had purchased land right next door to the Florida governor’s mansion. Disney now plans to build “Hamburger Mickey’s,” their first officially licensed drag bar, on that same piece of land.

“We never wanted this fight, and in fact as any faceless corporate monolith would prefer, we would have ultimately been happy to keep donating to both Democratic campaigns and Mr. DeSantis’ campaign,” Disney deputy media correspondent Glenn Willingham told us today, “but we’ve done the market research, and we know what the core values of our customer base are. We see millions of dollars in revenue every time there’s a pride event at one of our parks. Disney used to be a bastion for religious conservatives because we were too scared to upset them, but now we can clearly see where our bread is buttered, and it isn’t at the altar in front of the church. Fhe free market has spoken, and it’s incredibly profitable to be inclusive, and less so to be hateful little bigoted fascists.”

Mr. Willingham said the drag bar will be all-ages, and will feature various Disney characters from their catalog of shows and movies, performing in drag.

“You won’t believe how incredible it is to see Mickey in drag. Of course, a lot of people just point out how much he looks like exactly like Minnie, just in a dress and with a bow in her hair, but that’s showbiz for ya,” Willingham laughed. “We really think everyone’s going to enjoy the shows we put on at Hamburger Mickey’s, and we can’t wait to see all our diverse group of friends and Disney family cheering on our performers.”

Willingham said for a limited time after grand opening, Bud Light will be free to all guests 21 and over to Hamburger Mickey’s.

RELATED: Disney’s Next Animated Film Will Feature Villain Obsessed With Genitals Named “Ron DeFlorida”


Something tells me #RonDeSantis is not going to like this move by #Disney #disneyworld #lgtbq🏳️‍🌈 #dontsaygay #satire #politics #politik #political #Florida

♬ original sound – James Schlarmann – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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