Dick Cheney: ‘I Criticize Obama Out of Total Hypocrisy, Not Racism!’

Coeur Mécanique, WY — Former Vice-President Dick Cheney was the recent subject of an in-depth interview for Playboy magazine. In the interview, Cheney accuses President Barack Obama and outgoing Attorney General Eric Holder of “playing the race card” when people like Cheney criticize the Obama administration. “To say that we criticize, or that I criticize, Barack Obama or Eric Holder because of race, I think it’s obviously not true,” said Cheney in the interview. He went on to explain that his “criticism is merited because of performance — or lack of performance, because of incompetence.” and that it “hasn’t got anything to do with race.”

Appearing on conservative radio host Gil Fitzroy’s show on Tuesday, Cheney clarified what he meant in the interview. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m not a racist when I criticize the president. I’m doing it out of pure, unadulterated hypocritical defensiveness, and nothing more,” Cheney told Fitzroy. “I don’t mean to say that Obama and Holder don’t get purely racially driven criticism from some folks on the right — clearly he does because we all know that the Southern Strategy works otherwise we wouldn’t keep employing it. I’m just saying that for me, personally, I attack the president because I know full-well that I am an integral part of the most incompetent, money wasting, blood shed bringing administrations in the history of the nation,” the septuagenarian warfare industrial capitalist told Fitzroy. “I only insult him out of a reflexive need to deflect away from my own terrible misdeeds.”

Fitzroy asked Cheney if he was felling well, considering how candid he was being. “Look, maybe it’s the battery acid pumping through my veins, or maybe the computer running the algorithm that keeps my heart-bot churning has picked up a virus, but I’m just tired of being called a racist because I insult the president,” Cheney responded. “I’m fine with being known as a hypocritical, war mongering, economy destroying cyborg. But I will not stand idly by and let myself be called a racist hypocritical, war mongering, economy destroying cyborg. That’s a bridge too far, sir,” said the former Senator.

Cheney made sure to let Fitzroy and his audience know, however, that while he was not be accused of being a racist anymore, that he still supported using mildly suggestive rhetoric — which has been dubbed “dog whistle racism” — to fire up parts of the Republican base that still respond to such political sloganeering as “welfare queen.” Cheney said that he was not there to “dissuade any Republican from using the rhetoric they know will get conservatives to the polls” and that “implying our great nation is under attack from within” is a “tried and true Republican message that shouldn’t be abandoned.”

“I’m just saying that any time I personally open my mouth up about Obama, I’m doing it out of hypocrisy,” Cheney reiterated. “I tell him he’s playing the race card, for example, when my administration pretty much let Katrina do its worst to New Orleans before we got involved because we figured our voters wouldn’t care too much about the uh, demographics in New Orleans. See? Hypocrisy.” Cheney went on to point out a couple more examples of why he’s a hypocrite and not a racist, citing his critique of Obama’s foreign policy in the face of having helped orchestrate the Iraq War. “I mean, how anyone can take a damn word I say seriously when we there is irrefutable evidence that I knew exactly how badly I was lying to start the Iraq invasion is beyond me. But whatever, I’ll keep calling Obama’s foreign policy weak because that’s what our base responds to.”

During the interview, Cheney said that he’s “tired of Obama getting credit for fixing” what he and George W. Bush had done. “Did we essentially make the entire international community loathe and despise us? Yes. Did we ignore the looming financial crisis and exacerbate it by keeping the Bush Tax Cuts in place for far too long? Of course. Did Barack Obama oversee the stabilization and rebounding of our economy as well as put us on better footing with the countries we had pissed off? Most assuredly,” Cheney took a long breath, “and that’s why I have to insult the living shit out of him every chance I get. Compared to us, a bag full of bowling balls and used dildos would have been a better presidential administration, and toward the end, don’t think that wasn’t suggested either.”

Fitzroy wrapped up the interview by asking Cheney who he thinks looks like a good candidate for the Republicans in 2016. “Well, the best candidate is the one i see in the mirror every day thanks to my ocular scanning nodes that doctors installed in my eye sockets last year,” Cheney began. “But since I know the country just isn’t ready for the kind of cybernetic leadership I can give, I’d say that any of them would do a fine job. But I like that Walker kid; the cut of his jib. Anyone who drops out of college and goes on to wage a war against intellectualism is alright in my book.”


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There was a lot of hubbub, and there still is from some, about a supposed stand down order that Mrs. Clinton gave in the Benghazi affair that resulted in the death of four americans. Here is a man that was a sitting member of GWB’s cabinet who testified before the 911 commission that Cheney gave a stand down order to officers at the pentagon – prohibiting them from defending the most heavily protected building, of the most powerful nation on earth, that saw that plane go off course and head right at them, while the nation was under attack – that cost the lives of 125 americans. And the news media SAYS NOTHING! When are these worthless reporters and journalist going to stop letting this treasonous mass murder keep from having to answering for this and demand that he be held accountable?


When asked by reporters to confirm what he said, Mr. Mineta repeated the fact the cheney lied to the 911 commission and did give a stand down order that allowed the pentagon to be attacked and that cost the lives of 125 americans. Where are all the congressional hearings Mr Issa? Where are all the right wing echo chambers that pretend to be patriots who love america more than anyone else? Where are the reporters that actually found this out and why have the stopped, or been stopped, from speaking out?


What does it say for this country when 500 first responder, who the nation celebrates as heroes ever september 11th, refuse to listen and act on, continue to ignore, what these professionally trained responders and observers have said? 500, YES, 500 first responders ranging in rank from paramedics to battalion chiefs have said publicly that they ALL heard bombs going off throughout the twin towers. What is the matter with this country anyway???

Cheney’s approval ratings were inching toward single digits when he finally crawled out of office. The Bush presidency was a disaster for America and the world as a whole. This evil, evil man can bluster until the day he dies, blaming everyone but himself, but it will not postpone his upcoming date with the historians.