Devin Nunes Asks Mike Flynn To Translate Resignation Letter Into Russian ‘For a Mutual Friend’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes (R-CA) is in a lot of hot water these days.

Though his committee is supposed to have independent oversight, tasked with making sure the Executive branch doesn’t break any laws, Nunes has seemed rather keen to help the Bannon/Trump administration shut down the swirling controversy boiling up over its ties to Russia before, during, and after the election. Last week, Chairman Nunes took intelligence information directly to the White House before sharing it even with the members of his own party on his own committee. Though Senate Republicans have come out and said that Nunes should resign his position, House Republicans have been more reluctant to do so.

The U.S. intelligence community has widely believed for months that Vladmir Putin’s regime took an interest in shepherding Trump into office, and there have been allegations and accusations that Team Trump knew, and possibly colluded with Russia. Trump’s loss in the popular vote by such a large margin has added fuel to the fire, casting the entire election in doubt. While allegations of actual vote count tampering have not been made, many feel the country just may never know for certain how strong an influence Putin’s hackers had on the election, but it is known that the release of hacked Democratic National Committee emails was done deliberately to help Mr. Trump secure victory.

Committees in both the House and Senate have been convened to investigate the issue, but Nunes’ behavior has made people on both sides of the aisle push for his resignation. Word on the Hill is that Nunes has already drafted his letter of resignation, but that he needs to put some final touches on it, and has enlisted former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn to help make those revisions.

“Hey Mike,” an email provided to various media outlets reads, “hope all is well, comrade. Just a quick favor to ask, if you don’t mind? Can you go over this letter of resignation and translate it into Russian for a mutual friend? Just want to make sure all interested parties can read it. Oh, and if you can’t do this, can you have maybe Paul do it? I’d ask Jeff Sessions, but he’s recused himself so…you get it. Spasibo, Mike!”

The email was sent to Michael Flynn, former National Security Adviser to Co-President Trump. Flynn was forced to resign that position, however, after it was revealed that he had spoken to Russian officials about American sanctions against their government before Trump had assumed co-power with Steve Bannon. Nunes’ email had his letter of resignation attached, but the print out provided to the press, however, did not.

Representatives for Mr. Flynn could not be reached for comment.


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James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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