DeSantis Vows to Force Disney to Turn Aladdin’s Genie White

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) knows what Americans, not just Floridians, want and need from their elected leadership: picking fights with private sector entertainment companies. At least, that’s the argument that DeSantis and his staff of jolly fascists and foreign agents are hoping people will take away from the governor’s war with The Walt Disney Company.

This week, DeSantis completed his hostile takeover of the Reedy Creek Improvement Board, which was established more than 50 years ago between Disney and Florida officials. The board had been used to give Disney wide berth in financing and distribution of resources and the administration of infrastructure in and around their Orlando area parks. During the ceremony, DeSantis bragged that he’d be able to use the board’s new makeup to leverage Disney into changing its creative content.

Today, at a press event celebrating his takeover of Reedy Creek, DeSantis announced he was making good on that threat, and will force Disney to change one of its most iconic characters. According to the governor, he’s already filed paperwork in Florida district court that demands Disney make Aladdin’s Genie a white character. DeSantis said it “proves Disney’s out of control woke agenda” needs to be reigned in before “more people with non-white skin start getting the wrong ideas.”

“Does anyone out there know how devastating it is for a mayo-tinted child to watch Aladdin and not see a single white character? That, my friends, is what reverse racism looks like,” DeSantis said. “I find it alarming and quite concerning that they couldn’t at least make the magical character white. It’s the same reason I’ll be suing Bible publishers who don’t make Jesus white!”

Disney, in a written statement, said they would resist DeSantis’ efforts to whitewash the Genie.

“Instead, we offer a counter-proposal,” Disney’s legal team wrote. “Instead of changing the Genie’s skin tone, we will create a special character in our next animated feature, inspired by the governor. As soon as our illustrators can draw up a few anthropomorphic fecal gollums, we’ll send them over to Mr. DeSantis and he can tell us which one looks and sounds most like him.”

@jamboschlarmbo Not sure you have that power, Ron. #DeSantis #satire #floriduh #florida #Disney #DisneyWorld #politik #politics ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

Follow James: PostTikTokTwitterInstagramFacebook

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This