DeSantis Politely Asked Neo-Nazi to Step Aside So He Could Scold Students Wearing Masks

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH — Yesterday, Sunshine State Governor and 2021’s Donald Trump Impersonator of the Year recipient Ron DeSantis was appearing at a photo op held on the campus of the University of South Florida, and was caught in a hot mic moment. Though the governor has refused to apologize — and instead has proudly shared videos of the incident on his social media accounts — reaction to DeSantis berating a group of students who were wearing masks has been mixed at best.

DeSantis angrily reminded his political props that he had ended masking requirements in Floriduh.

Then, he told them to take their masks off and that “ridiculous COVID theater” had to end. Mr. DeSantis, who has often said he does not think government officials should be telling people whether they should or should not wear masks, has been defiant in his defense of his actions yesterday.

MORE: D.C. Sewage Plant Apologizes For Letting Two Turds Escape During Biden’s State of the Union

As outrageous as it might be to some for a man in his forties to berate children a fraction of his age because of a personal medical choice, a new wrinkle in the story might amplify the outrage further.

Several eyewitnesses on the scene at USF noticed something rather peculiar.

Just before DeSantis admonished the students, he had a short interaction with a Neo-Nazi, who was standing just a few feet away. As Gov. DeSantis was approaching the students and the podium set up for him, he ran right into the Neo-Nazi. A witness on the condition of anonymity and a one-way ticket out of the state, told us what they allegedly saw DeSantis say to the Neo-Nazi.

“Excuse me, excuse me? Kind sir? Goodly kind Neo-Nazi, may I please ask you to take just one, small goose step to the right for me,” DeSantis reportedly asked the Neo-Nazi. “You see, kind sir, there’s a group of young people over there, and they’re wearing masks! Can you imagine the audacity!”

DeSantis took the Neo-Nazi’s head in his hands, and stared deeply into his eyes.

“Sick people, am I right, Mr. Neo Nazi? So, you can see why it’s so urgent that I get over there immediately and intimidate them into making a different choice for themselves? I need you to, if you don’t mind and if you can, just to barely move over so I can go give those pieces of literal shit what-for!”

The Neo-Nazi moved over. DeSantis shook his hand and winked at him.

“Thanks buddy! Really appreciate it! Smart uniform, by the way! Where can I get one in an XXL?”

MORE: God Tells Pat Robertson to “Suit Up and Fight for Putin If He Wants the End Times So Badly”


Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This