Daily American Greatness Tracker – Day 2

It’s that time again for our daily tracking of American Greatness. If President Trump (R) says he’ll make America Great Again, then by God we want to know just how much greater America gets with each passing day. We acknowledge that this might be an impossible task we’ve given ourselves, but we are committed and will spare no expense to track American Greatness as accurately as possible.

On the second day of Trump’s presidency, we witnessed a 10% spike in greatness, bringing the total American Greatness quotient to 145%. This represents a 140% spike since President Barack Hussein Obama (D-Kenya) spent his final 24 hours as president.

American Greatness tracker scientists estimate that the spike from yesterday to today could have been a little higher, but all the women protesting in the streets instead of making sandwiches and acting generally grateful for the men in their life not choosing to rape or beat them — which is their God-given right as males — skewed the numbers just a bit.

We’ll back tomorrow with yet another installment of the Daily American Greatness Tracker.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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