Alabama GOP Outraged ‘Cuties’ Director Didn’t Invite Roy Moore to World Premiere

BONINSISTERS, ALABAMA — The Alabama Republican Party issued a scathing rebuke of the controversial film “Cuties,” which is currently streaming on Netflix. However, unlike other right-wing, religious conservative organizations, the Alabama GOP didn’t criticize the artistic content of the film, which centers around an eleven year old girl joining a dance group at school and finding herself already objectified and hypersexualized at such a young age by adults. Socially conservative pundits and politicians have lambasted the film, saying it glorifies the very things the director, Maïmouna Doucouré, says the film is attempting to put into a critical light.

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The Alabama Republican Party sent Doucouré a letter last week, however, not complaining about what her film portrays. Instead, the letter accused her of an “anti-Trump, anti-Republican bias” because she didn’t invite former Alabama Republican congressional candidate Judge Roy Moore an invitation to the film’s world premiere.

“Ms. Doucouré, we are writing to inform you that the Alabama Republican Party’s feelings are very hurt on behalf of our beloved Judge Roy Moore,” the letter opens. “We find it shameful and sad that you couldn’t put your obvious and clear anti-Trump, anti-Republican bias aside and invite Roy to the world premiere of your film, Cuties. We are certain that had you extended an invitation, Judge Moore would have accepted maybe before the email was got his inbox. Instead, you left him out, and frankly that’s very disappointing.”

The letter states that Judge Moore is considering asking the Trump Justice Department to see if his hurt feelings are a matter for a civil suit, or if his constitutional freedoms were abridged.

“We advise you at this time to seek legal counsel. It’s very possible you will need to defend your injurious behavior to a judge at some point in the near future,” the Republican letter warns. “You might want to get your affairs in order. We don’t take kindly to having our luminary leaders’ feelings hurt.”

Judge Moore issued his own statement indicating that he has “no opinion on the film whatsoever.”

“I’ve only watched it a handful of times, so I give no opinion on the film whatsoever,” a defiant, but clearly hurt Moore told WKKK’s AM’s Chip Chatterly today. “But I appreciate the Alabama Republican Party having my back. Hell, I’ve been with the Alabama GOP so many years, you’d think I’d have left it for a younger party by now, but how could I when they send letters like this on my behalf?”

Ms. Doucouré’s representatives could not be reached for comment.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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