Cruz: Senate Should Clear the Former President Because He’s a Private Citizen, Investigate Hunter Biden Instead

Published on

WASHINGTON, D.C. — One thing is becoming increasingly clear — most Senate Republicans are still deathly afraid of the man who is no longer president and his followers. Despite surviving a terrorist attack against themselves, directed by the former president, only five Republicans in the senate voted against Sen. Rand Paul’s (R-Dumbfuckistan) attempt to dismiss the second impeachment trial of Barack Obama’s racist successor, signalling that many will simply vote to acquit him next month.

One of the former, one-term president’s loudest defenders is Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas. Throughout most of the last four years, Cruz could be found stalwartly defending the former president no matter what was said or done. Despite the fact that the president had bullied Cruz and called Cruz’s wife Heidi ugly during the 2016 presidential campaign, Sen. Cruz has remained steadfast and loyal to his former tormentor.

MORE: Museum of Holocaust Denial Hires Stephen Miller as New Director

Today, Cruz posted a clip of the podcast he hosts with conservative commentator and alleged comedian Michael Knowles. In the tweet of the clip, Cruz calls efforts be Senate Democrats to hold the former president accountable for his part in inspiring the terrorist attack on the capitol “petty” and “vindictive.” Cruz’s tweet, below.

This morning, Cruz also spoke at a prayer breakfast in the D.C. area, held by pro-MAGA lobbyists. During his speech Cruz argued that the former president is “now a private citizen” and should be left alone. Instead, Cruz said that the Senate should be investigating someone else entirely.

“It’s time for the Democrats to accept that they won the election, and just forget all about that whole bloody violent insurrection thing from a couple weeks ago,” Cruz insisted. “No matter how many cops were killed because the mob was incited by the former president, he is a private citizen now and shouldn’t be harrassed by congress. Instead, we should be focusing on investigating Hunter Biden.”

Hunter, son of President Joe Biden, has been the target of right-wing attacks and smears since last year, when the former president tried to extort Ukraine into helping him destroy President Biden’s campaign. In the final weeks before the election, pro-MAGA forces in the media tried to push a narrative about one of Hunter’s laptop containing incriminating information, and Hunter divulged himself that he was the target of an FBI investigation. However, Hunter has also never served in a public office, and does not currently hold one.

“Why are they harassing our dear, sweet, tangerine tinted former Emperor God King? He’s already left office,” Cruz whined. “Seems a little late. If a president murders someone in office, everyone knows you can only hold him accountable for that murder right up until the next president is sworn-in.”

RELATED: Man Finds Ted Cruz Drowning and Throws Him a Cement Life Preserver

 

Like what you read? Consider signing up for my free newsletter, becoming a paid Facebook subscriber, or signing up for my Patreon.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...